Baggage Gift
by Tina Chaves1
Summary: What if Rachel had forgiven Ross in season 3? After 2 years, the past is evoked.
1. Chapter 1

**Baggage gift**  
by Tina

**Disclaimer:** These characters do not belong to me. They belong to Bright Kauffman Crane in association with Warner Bros. 

This is a Ross and Rachel fanfic. For more, check out my site (on my profile).

* * *

Rachel looked down at the man knelt beside her, hugging her tighs. Tears flooded her sight, making her even more aware of the thoughts racing through her mind. He had cheated on her. Ross Geller. The love of her life. The one man she'd ever given herself completely to. She had let her guard down, allowed herself to trust him. She had _loved_ him. And now he had cheated on her on their aniversary. 

All the events that lead them to that very moment became suddenly fresh in her memory. Meeting Mark. Ross' jealousy. Her late hours at work. Then her impossibilty to make it to dinner that night, despite all the planning they had done. The fight. The long, _long_ night without hearing from him again, after he hung up on her. Why did she have to invite Mark over? 

And why did he have to sleep with her? 

Ross had been at Rachel's apartment for nearly seven hours. However, they hadn't done much talking, overall. He was still carefully picking words to say, while she was still lost in a sea of questions, the bigger one being "and now what?". 

_"Do you wanna fight for us or do you wanna bail?"_ Ross' words echoed loudly. 

Rachel still remained silent and simply let herself be hugged by Ross. She could hear his muffed sobs, as his face was pressed up against her knees. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't hate that man. As much as it hurt and it made her feel ashamed and betrayed, she knew him better than that. Yes, he made a mistake, but maybe... Maybe they shouldn't jeopardise their future because of that. Maybe this was something they _could_ work past. 

It would be hard, it would take a while and they would still go through a lot. But weren't they worth it? 

Besides, it was not like he did it while he was sober and they were together, like so many of her past boyfriends. That didn't change the fact that it hurt, but it made a difference once Rachel thought things through. Ross was not that sort of person. He was completely devoted to her and nothing like this would ever happen again. 

_Right?_

Maybe it would take a while for her to regaign her trust back and be able to answer these questions without thinking twice. But she was not going to run again. If she could give all of her past boyfriends another chance, she could do the same to Ross. If anyone should deserve it, this one should be him. 

She rested one of her hands softly in his shoulders and he quickly looked up at her. They locked sad gazes and she slowly dropped down to her knees aswell, beginning to sob harder as he seemed to calm down. 

"I need to know this won't happen again, Ross" 

"It won't, Rachel, it won't happen again, I swear, I..." 

He trailed off as he began to sob harder once more. Was she giving him another chance? The whole tension built up in him dissolved into tears that ran freely down his cheeks. She brushed them away and, for a moment, Ross couldn't help but feel lighter. He watched her intently as she whiped his tears away, while hers kept running free. 

"Okay. Then I'm willing to work on this" 

Her words were soft and they seemed to caress Ross' ears and all the way into his heart. Ross smiled gratefully at her, uncertainly taking her hands on his. They were shaky, soft, cold. But they were still able to provoke a familiar feeling in Rachel's stomach. Something she would terribly miss if she let him go. 

"You won't regret this, Rachel. I promise you" 

_I promise you..._

* * *

Almost two years had passed since Ross and Rachel's first disaster aniversary. It took them a while to work on their broken relationship, but given it the right dedication, patience and time, they were now closer than ever. There were still spots left to be covered, but Rachel always felt irritated and uncomfortable when they were approached. Ross figured the best thing for them to do were to let them go. 

So now, so much time later, they could honestly say they had worked things out. She trusted him again and they were in love. They were, in fact, engaged and their history was a subject no longer to be touched. No one talked about it anymore. Both forgiven and... forgotten. 

Rachel left her room wearing a sleeveless black dress and high heals. Her golden hair was down and her make up was light. She was holding a golden bracelet as she approached her roommate, Monica Geller. 

"Hey, Mon, can you put this on for me, please?" 

"Sure, sweetie. Ross called, he said he'll be over in like half an hour. Something about Ben being sick on his way to Carol's, I don't know" 

"That's fine, I still need to make a few phonecalls" 

"Really? 'Cause I was thinking maybe we could look at some bridal magazines together" 

Monica flashed a smile at her best friend. Just that previous week Rachel had asked Monica to be her maid of honor. Rachel smiled back. 

"Oh, there's always time for that!" 

Monica put on that geeky childish excited look that was so typical of her and put a huge stack of magazines on the coffee table. Rachel gasped at how many there were. 

"Wow, Monica. I'm not gonna have time for this" 

"I know, that's why I've labelled them!" 

"I'm sorry, you've labelled them?" 

"Yeah, look" Monica said as she showed the magazines to Rachel. "I've marked the pages with colorful post-its and each color means something different. Here's the reference chart!" 

Rachel took a well designed chart from Monica's hand. 

"Chandler printed it out for me on his computer", she said, proud of her job. "So, if you need, say uh, flowers for the center pieces, you just check the red post-its! For classic wedding dresses, try the white ones. For classic, yet a little sexy, but nothing too out there, you go to pink! Or if maybe you want to go with-" 

"Alright, alright, I got", Rachel cut her, chuckling a bit. "You have waaaay too much spare time, Monica". 

The girls sat around the coffee table looking at magazines for a while, sharing thoughts and jokes. Soon, the door opened and Joey and Chandler walked in. 

"Hello children" 

"Whoa, looking hot tonight, Rach" 

"Thanks, Joey, always knows how to please a girl", Rachel said, getting up from the couch and going into the bathroom. 

"It was a compliment!" he shouted after her. "What is wrong with her?" 

"Don't worry, it's that time of the year" 

"You mean she's getting her period?" Joey asked, clueless. 

"Yeah, 'cause she only gets that once a year", Chandler joked. 

"Whoa, she is like my dream woman then" 

"Chandler, Joey, shut up!" Monica said, exasperated. "It's her anniversary with Ross, it's approaching" 

"Oh. I didn't know it was still a big deal" 

"Well, you know... It's sort of implicit" 

"Whoa, whoa, you lost me there, Mon" Monica shot Joey a look. 

"They never admit it, but I always sense something different in the air" 

Joey giggled and Monica shot him a look. 

"Not _that_, Joey!" 

Just then, Ross entered. He was wearing a dark blue button up shirt, a black blaser jacket and a broad smile on his face. 

"Hey everyone" 

They all greeted him back. 

"Where's Rachel? In her room?" 

"No, she's finishing getting ready in the bathroom" 

"Oh, alright. So, what are you guys doing?" 

"Oh, we're just- hm just hanging out. You know... talking" 

Joey surely wasn't the most subtle person in this world. Ross shoot him a weird look, but decided to let it go. 

The bathroom door opened and Rachel stepped out, looking stunning as she always did for him. She always managed to get his heart to skip a beat and this time was no different. Though they'd been going out for almost three years, some things never changed. It always felt like it was the first time, though their knollege on each other proved them wrong. 

"Hey you" 

Her smile shone so brightly. 

"Hey you" 

He greeted back. They walked towards each other and met halfway, sharing a soft kiss. 

"You ready to go?" 

"Yeah, I'm just gonna get my coat" 

"Alright" 

She kissed him a bit longer again and went into her room, his eyes following her, sparkling. Everything was perfect. Nothing could ruin this. The past was gone, it was dead and nothing could evoke it back to life. Nothing. 

_Right?_

* * *

Okay, so this is only an experimental thing for me! I'll try to get more coming now that I'm on vacation, but I'll have to do it quickly 'cause next week I'm going "home" for about a month...! Your review is very important to me though!!! I'll try to make next chapter longer! 


	2. Chapter 2

**Baggage gift**  
by Tina

I'm sorry I didn't make it clear on the first chapter, but that was only a little prologue, the real story hasn't kicked in yet! :) Anyway, hope you like this... Please review!! It's painless, I swear ;)  
  
Also, I know I said my previous fic would be my last fic ever. Hmmm... Yeah. I've changed my mind. But now I don't feel like it's my job anymore...! So I won't feel so bad if for some reason I don't finish this! I intend to, though ;)

* * *

Ross found entertainment watching a little girl playing with her parents in a table near by, while Rachel was powdering her nose in the restroom. The blonde child had long soft hair and big blue eyes. She reminded Ross a lot of a little version of his girlfriend. She kept giggling loudly, her girlish voice asking her parents for more. All the joy that irradiated from that tiny human being reached Ross in little waves of hope. Hope that one day it would be his and Rachel's child turning heads in restaurants. 

The subject had never been brought up by them. Just very recently they had got engaged, for Ross had waited untill the perfect moment to propose. Their past had to be solved first. And now they were only beginning to get carried away by longing thoughts of their future. Children, however, had not yet been a topic discussed. Ross wondered if that would be a good time to bring it up. 

He was pulled away from his thoughts by Rachel's presence. She sat down across from him, smiling. 

"Did you miss me?" she asked, jokingly. 

He chuckled and grabbed her hands. 

"Terribly" 

She chuckled back and he kissed one of her hands. He looked back at the little girl and then back down at their hands, still on each other's, trying to think of the best way to say what he had in mind. 

It shouldn't be this hard. It was Rachel, after all. Her future wife, the one he'd spend the rest of his life with. However, he had to admit he still felt nervous when it came to their future. As if all the decisions laid in her hands solely. 

"What?" he looked up at her, confused "You've got this weird look on your face. What is it?" 

Ross looked at the little girl again and then back at Rachel. 

"Hm, I was just thinking about, hm, our future..." 

"Yes...?" she said, as a cue to make him go on. 

"There are just somethings we've never talked about and I was just wondering what you thought about them" 

"Oh. Such as?" 

He watched her for a while before finally having the courage to say it. 

"Kids" 

She looked at him for a while and bit her bottom lip. Funnily enough, that was one of the things that have crossed her mind lately. One of her co-workers at Rauph Lauren had just given birth and it stirred up something inside of Rachel. Something she actually never knew she had. 

Even though she had proved to be a great new mommy for Ben, the thought of having her own child used to be far away. Now, the simple action of walking by a baby store filled Rachel with visions. 

She finally smiled at him. 

"Yeah..?" 

He smiled back at her, though still a little uncertain. 

"What do you think about it?", he nervously asked. 

"I think they have the cutest little feet!" 

Ross chuckled and Rachel joined him. She then tightened her grip on his hands. 

"I think I'm scared. But I also think this is really something I wanna do" he smiled broadly at her. "with you" 

Ross leaned across the table and kissed her. When he backed away she saw tears in his eyes and smiled even more. 

"But with a cry baby like you I'm afraid I won't have to give birth!" he chuckled "Hey, think of all the money we'll save on diapers" 

"Hm, listen, there's also something else I wanna talk to you about" 

"It's not Scarsdale now, is it?" 

He chuckled again, a little surprised she actually remembered that. 

"No, no, it's not that." 

"Okay...?" 

"It's hm, our aniversary" 

Rachel looked at him and tried to smile. 

"Right" 

"What do you wanna do this year?" 

She slowly took her hands from his and kept playing with her wine glass, looking down at it. Then she quickly sipped it and looked back at Ross, who was looking kind of down. Though it was forgiven and forgotten, it seemed like during this time of the year emotions would still rise. It had happened on the previous year aswell. They were still able to make it through, though in a silent way. Words had not being spoken about the subject. They just had to hold it in untill it passed. 

"Hm, I don't know. Maybe just, hm, dinner, like we did last year?" 

"Really? 'Cause, hm, I was thinking maybe we could get away for the weekend. I don't know if you noticed, but it'll be exactly on a saturday. We could, hm, go to hm, Vermont, maybe?" she looked uncertain at him "A little reharsal for the honeymoon?" 

At this, she smiled. 

"Maybe" 

The waiter interrupted them with the desert menu. 

"We'll talk about it later. For now, I think I deserve a chocolate pie..." 

Ross smiled at Rachel. How could someone be allowed to love a person that much?

* * *

Rachel said goodbye to Ross by the door to her apartment. Though he insisted, she decided to sleep by herself in her own room, claiming she would have an early day. Truth was, she was hoping Monica would be up so they could talk. So, after a long goodbye kiss, Rachel entered her apartment only to find Monica still working on the labels in the magazines. 

"Oh, I'm so glad you're up, Mon" 

Monica turned around and looked concerned. 

"What, what is it? Did anything happen?" 

"No, nothing. I just wanna talk." 

"Oh, sure. What's up?" 

Rachel sat down on the couch and peeked at one of the magazines. She picked it up and shot Monica a look. 

"Did you really think I'd ever get married in this?" 

"Focus, Rachel" Monica said as she unmarked the page, ashamed. 

"Okay, hm.." Rachel nervously played with her hands. 

"Yes...?" 

Rachel looked at Monica and then smiled, getting up. 

"You know what? Nevermind" 

She started walking towards her room and Monica protested. 

"Whoa, hey, what was that?" 

Rachel turned around and looked at her friend. 

"Oh, and uh... Ross and I are going away next weekend. And also... we're gonna start trying to get pregnant soon. Goodnight, Mon" 

She retreated herself in the safety of her four walls, leaving Monica dumbfounded in the livingroom. It was not the first time Rachel gave up on having a conversation with her. In fact, in past atempts she had actually stopped half way through it. Monica vividly remember some of the things she said, though she chose to let it go, for everybody's sake.

* * *

The days passed by and things seemed to look better for Ross and Rachel. It didn't get awkward, as actually both of them expected. Instead, the atmosphere remained calm and comfortable, exactly the opposite to what had happened the previous year. The prospect of a whole weekend together, alone, with nothing to stand on their way, was very appealing. That friday morning, Rachel woke up in Ross' bed and smiled at the figure laying down next to her. 

Neither of them was going to work. They planned to leave right after lunch straight to a nice comfortable Inn in Vermont. Winter was still rough, but then again they weren't expecting to leave the room much. 

Rachel smiled down at Ross and put one arm around him, snuggling up closer. He stired for a bit and smiled. She kissed his lips softly. 

"Wake up, you.. We still have to pack and it's almost 9." 

He opened his eyes. 

"Pack, really? I have other things in mind we could do..." 

She smiled. 

"Yeah? Like what?" 

He leaned foward and kissed her full. She left herself go and they made love passionately untill her toes curled. 

Rachel was in the shower while Ross was busy in the kitchen, making them breakfast. In their relationship, he oftenly took the job that would normally be the woman's in most relationships. He didn't mind though, he wanted to take care of her. Besides, the few times Rachel had tried to cook for him only proved they should keep things the way they were. 

There was a knock at the door and Ross went to get it, confused as to why the intercom hadn't buzzed. The face that was revealed was one Ross hadn't seen in years. Almost 3 years, in fact. It was different, but some traces still remained. The hair looked as if it were someone else's, but those eyes were still the same. However, they were now haunted, they seemed to carry a sadness Ross only knew from his own past. 

"I'm sorry I didn't buzz in, but this guy was leaving and he said I could come in. You better watch out for the safety in the builting" 

"What are you- what are you doing here?" 

Ross' voice was shaky. 

"I need to talk to you about something serious" 

Ross looked confused, but he still opened the door to let this person in. 

"Sweetie, do you think we could maybe-" 

Rachel froze by the door, wrapped in her bathrobe and using a spare towel to dry her hair. Ross' eyes widened aprehensively. 

"Oh, hi, I didn't know we had company. I don't believe we've met... Rachel Green" 

She extended her hand and they shook hands 

"Isaak, nice meeting you"

* * *

Everybody rememberes Isaak, right? He was that guy that worked with Chloe. Anyway, bear with me! Next chapter should come around soon. I think they'll be all short like this after all...! Drop a review and make me happy, please ;) And _now_ the real story will start to kick in ;) 


	3. Chapter 3

**Baggage gift**  
by Tina

First of all, wanna thank you all for the reviews! I think it was the main thing that motivated me into writing this 3rd part...! I know this won't be like the best fic I've ever written, lol, but it's a good way to kill off some time! Also, it's nice to have people reading it and helping me improve at it! So... thanks! :)

* * *

The three of them stood by the door of Ross' apartment. His mind raced through all the possibilities of Isaak's visit and the possible consequences it could cause to his and Rachel's relationship. Of all the days in the year, why did he have to choose that one to show up? 

"Hm, I'm gonna go finish getting ready then" Rachel said "Honey, don't forget we still need to pick up the coats in the dry cleaners" 

"Oh, sure" 

Rachel excused herself and entered the room again. Ross looked nervously back at Isaak, who was still looking down at the floor. 

"What uh... What are you doing here, Isaak?" 

"Okay, hm..." Isaak cleared his throat and paced around the room for a bit. Then he stopped and looked back at Ross. "It's a long story. Hm, do you mind if I sit down?" 

"Oh, no, hm, go ahead" 

Isaak sat down on the couch and Ross uncertainly sat on an arm chair near. 

"Right, here's the deal... Chloe, hm" Ross cringed at the sound of her name. Isaak didn't notice, so he just went on "she passed away last week" 

"What?" 

Ross' heart seemed to stop beating for a moment. Isaak sighed. 

"She was involved in a car accident and didn't make it" 

"Whoa, I... I can't believe this" 

Ross' mind wandered through memories of Chloe. The cheerful girl at the copy place, always jumpy and so full of life. How could a person just die like this? 

And then... he wondered why Isaak had made his way to his apartment just to tell him that. It's not like they were friends. It's not like they had anything more than that one time when he was drunk. Not wanting to sound insensitive, Ross shook his head, still in a daze, and said with a soft voice... 

"I- I'm very sorry, Isaak" Isaak simply disserted aswell, drying the corners of his eyes with his fingertips, inhailing deep. "But up... What, what do I have to do with this?" 

Isaak looked thoughtful for what seemed to be a century. 

"Chloe had a daughter, Ross. Your daughter" 

"Hm, I'm sorry, _what_?" 

"After that night you two got together, she found out she was pregnant. Nine months later... little Melissa was born. And now... now she has no one. She's been staying with me for now, but you're her father. So I wondered if maybe..." he trailed off. 

Ross' mind raced faster and faster. It couldn't be his child. There was _no way_ it could be his child. It was a known fact that Chloe was not exactly the sort of girl who saved herself for the "special guys". Plus, they had worn protection that night. 

Right? 

If only he could remember _anything_. 

Besides, he didn't need that, not then. Not when things were working out with Rachel. Not when everything was falling into the right place, when they were going to get married and have children of their own. 

Definitely, it wasn't his child. 

"I'm sorry, Isaak, but... it's not mine" 

"But it is, Ross" 

"How can you say that?" Ross snapped. He then realised Rachel was just in the next room and calmed down. There was no need for her to hear what was going on. "Listen... Chloe and I have only been together once. And I'm sorry, but you of all people know how she... you know, didn't exactly wait for the right oportunities." 

Isaak looked at Ross with nothing but tears and disgust in his eyes. 

"You know what? Chloe was wrong about you" 

With that, he sighed one last time and left. Ross stood there, alone, and hung his head, defeated. Hearing the door slam so hard, Rachel entered the livingroom again, now dressed up, but still with wet hair. 

"What was that about?" 

Ross looked at her and then looked down. 

"Nothing. There are eggs in the pan and coffee on the machine, but uh I'm not hungry anymore. I'll go pack" 

He left to the room and Rachel was left confused.

* * *

Rachel was looking out the window in the train. The landscape was now far different than the one they could see when they left New York. Being closer to Vermont by now, the high builtings were slowly replaced by leafless trees, covered with the white snow which had fallen on the previous night. She rested her forehead on the cold glass and saw Ross' reflection staring at her. She exhailed and the glass was covered with steam. Whipping it off, she turned around and looked at him. 

Upon seeing sadness in his eyes, she asked: 

"You okay?" 

"Yeah", he lied. 

"What hm, what did that guy Isaak want?" 

Ross looked at her, torn. He didn't want to hide anything from her, but he also didn't want to ruin their aniversary. And he was sure that would do it. 

"Nothing, it was nothing, sweetie. Just some... boring business things" 

Rachel nodded, though she knew he was lying. Things were getting awkward again, she couldn't believe it. They were doing so well, improved so much. Up untill that morning after they made love things were perfect. How could that visist from that stranger change everything? And most importantly, why couldn't he tell her why? 

She turned around and looked out the window again, closing her eyes. That would be a long weekend.

* * *

Rachel was flipping through the channels in their suite, under thick, soft layers of blankets. She could hear the sound of the shower running competing with the sound produced by the t.v.. Ross had left the door to the bathroom open and it was making it hard for Rachel to actually distinguish the noises. But she didn't care. She wasn't paying atention to anything else other then her feelings. The so familiar feelings. 

The day had finally come. Three previous years she and Ross had gotten together, at last. After the list fiasco, they had found comfort in each other's arms after watching the prom tape together. Knowing the things Ross would put himself through just to please her made her feel warm. 

Not that morning though. 

That morning only reminded her of two other days that happened to share the same date as this one. The day Rachel had proposed their break. And their second aniversary. 

The last seemed to be echoing back into her present. The same feeling of obligation, of doing things out of habit rather than wish. The sex instead of love. The complete awereness instead of the blur it usually felt when they were together. 

Hopefully, it would pass again. And they would be back to normal, just as they were a couple of weeks before. It would be worth it, it always was. She had never regret giving him a second chance. This time would be no different. 

The shower stopped running and after just a few minutes Ross stepped out of the bathroom in his boxer shorts. He quickly joined Rachel under the blankets, seeking for warmth. 

"Oh, that's better" Ross said at he moved closer to Rachel and bushed his hand across her naked stomach. She startled and couldn't help but giggle. 

"Jesus, you're cold!" 

"Hey, I took a hot shower" 

"Doesn't change the fact that you're cold!" 

Ross smiled at her and she smiled back. He wrapped his arms around her despite her protests and both looked at the t.v. screen. 

"So, what are we watching?" 

"I have no idea" 

They just cuddled for a while. 

"What do you say we go out to grab some breakfast?" 

"Sure. I'm just gonna go and take a shower" 

"But don't take too long, it'll only be up for another half an hour" 

Rachel shot him a look as she got up, wrapping one of the blankets around herself. 

"Or... we could grab something to eat somewhere else" 

She smiled and entered the bathroom, closing the door after herself. Ross stood there, watching the closed door. 

Since his talk with Isaak, two things couldn't leave his mind. Rachel and the baby Isaak claimed to be Ross'. What if it was his after all? There _was_ a possibility after all. He didn't want to be the sort of father who abandons kids he helped creating along the way. If it was indeed his child, then it was his responsability now. Hundreds of consequences filled his mind, from complexed ones to irrelevant decisions for the time being, like what school should the baby go to? 

But how would Rachel react? Would it only bring bad memories or would she be able to see past this and grow to love this baby as if it was her own? Would things still be okay? Would they have to go through another round of rough readjustments? 

Either way, Ross had decided he coudn't keep on being selfish. He would go after Isaak as soon as they went back to the city and try to find out if the baby was in fact his. If it turned out to be positive, he'd have to swallow down his pride and face the consequences. If that meant he would lose Rachel, let it be. Not that he ever wanted it to happen, but it was who he was. He wouldn't bear his consciense reminding him what a terrible person he was for turning his back to a little child. 

To _his_ little child. 

A child that, so young, had already lost the most important person in her short life. 

If Rachel loved everything about him, she would accept it. If not, then _he_ was about to lose the most importat person of _his_ life.

* * *

This is is for now :) Review and I might write a new chapter later on tonight ;) Please leave me reviews!! :) 


	4. Chapter 4

**Baggage gift**  
by Tina

Hey guys, here's another installment! :) Keep those reviews coming, please! I need to know what you think, might change what I have in mind for the future of this fic! ;) Thanks for the ones who took time to leave me one! Some of them made me laugh, in a good way! Anyway, here we go...

* * *

Ross looked at the builting across the street for a while. He paid the cabdriver, hopped off the car and checked the adress one more time. Yes, that was the exact same adress Jasmine, Isaak's sister, Phoebe's friend, had given him. 

The cold wind that blew hard matched perfectly with the weird sensation on the tip of his stomach, but was a contrast against his sweaty hot palms. 

Slowly, he marched across the street and yet quickly buzzed Isaak's apartment, praying for him to be home. It didn't take long untill he heard his familiar voice answer. 

"Yes?" 

"Isaak, hi, it's Ross Geller" 

"Oh" his voice showed surprise "Come on up" 

When the door opened, Ross' vision carefully yet quickly scanned the room. It was a small livingroom with bright green walls, a four seats round table and a couch in front of a fairly big t.v.. Baby toys were scattered around the floor and a playpen rested on one corner. Ross' heart skipped a beat as he saw a form lying in there. Looking closely, however, he realised it was only a teddy bear. 

"I really didn't think you'd come" 

Ross turned his atention back to Isaak. He opened the door wide and Ross entered the apartment. 

"Yeah, hm.." 

Ross' eyes still kept observing very inch of the room. He was surprised to spot stuffed dinosaurs among the toys and that provoked a sensation he wasn't quite able to distinguish yet. Isaak noticed Ross' eyes wandering. 

"She's not here, you know?" 

"What?" 

"The baby, Melissa, she's not here. I had a friend of mine take her to a clinic, aparently she's supposed to get a shot today and I just got home from work" 

"Oh" 

"It's a shame though. I'm sure once you see her, you'll believe me when I say she's yours." 

Ross hung his head and sighed. Isaak also took a deep breath. 

"Okay, look, why don't we sit down? Do you want something to eat or drink?" 

They sat down on the couch. 

"No, thanks, I'm fine. Listen, hm, Isaak. I'm sorry about the other day, really. It's just that... You need to understand how it feels for me. You just come knocking on my door saying that I'm a father and that I'm supposed to take care of this baby I didn't even know that existed, I-" he trailed off "Again, I'm sorry for saying this about Chloe, but how am I supposed to be sure that she is even mine?" 

"That's okay, Ross. I get where you stand and I'm also sorry for how I acted the other day. Things have just been really emotional since what happened, you know? I also don't blame you for not being sure about the baby and all... Given the circunstances to how she was conceived, it's only normal" 

Silence fell, while Isaak looked thoughtful. 

"Look, it wasn't Chloe's intention for any of this to happen. But she told me about the night you guys slept together and how you were drunk and depressed and... didn't wear protection" 

Ross sighed and Isaak continued. 

"She hadn't been with anyone around that time. I know she looks like the sort of person who'd put it out like that, but she really wasn't. She'd fool around with random guys ocasionally, but she never gave herself away to anyone like she did to you. She said you were different." 

"I had a girlfriend" Ross' voice was soft. 

"She didn't force you into anything, Ross" 

Ross looked down, ashamed. 

"Anyway... The thing is... She liked you a lot. But she realised just how in love you were with that girlfriend of yours and so she didn't want to ruin anything for you. Later on we heard she'd found out about what happened and forgave you, so that only made Chloe stronger on her decision not to tell you. She really did like you, you see?" 

Ross sighed. He had no idea that there was a whole other set of consequences to that night that he was not aware of. 

"She couldn't go through any of her decisions to not keep the child, so after Melissa came our lives just changed. Children change everything, don't they?" He chuckled "She got a new job, which motivated me to get one myself. She was even picking up her studies again. I stopped using drugs I considered to be so innocent just so Chloe would let me babysit for her when she had a date with someone promising. That's how amazing Melissa is" 

"Still, she didn't want to tell you. I talked to her a few times about this but she wouldn't listen. But now that she's, hm-" Isaak paused, as if those words were too painful to be pronounced "...not around anymore... I figured I should be the one to try and make things right. You might not want to keep her, but at least you'll know" 

"Wow", Ross almost inaudibly mumbled. "I... I don't know what to say. Hm, no, you're right, you're right. I had to know, yes." Ross ran his fingers through his hair and thought. "Is it okay if I ask for a DNA test? Just to be sure?" 

"That's fine, Ross" 

"Thanks" 

"Okay, listen. Why don't we do it over the week and then when the results come out we set a date for you to come over and meet her?" 

Isaak's conviction on the results of the exam had an effect on Ross. Isaak was so sure. 

"Right, okay. That sounds like a good plan, yeah" 

And a good plan it was. This way, Ross thought, he wouldn't have to say anything to Rachel untill he was certain that this child was his.

* * *

Rachel was laid in the comfortable chair with her legs and head carefully set on the arms of it. She got a full view of everything that was going on in the apartment. She, Monica and Phoebe were having a typical girl's night, which was unsual for a monday night. However, with Phoebe's pregnancy having just ended not long ago, she was still experiencing hormonal disfunctions. The perfect medicine for that would be nothing but a good night of doing nothing with her girls. 

"So, how did the weekend away go, Rach?" Phoebe asked. 

"Fine" 

Upon the one-word sentence, Phoebe decided not to prolong the subject. 

"Do you guys wanna play Operation?" she quickly suggested. 

"We've burnt the guy last time we were preparing him since we don't have the tweezes, remember?" 

"Ohh, right." Phoebe paused "How did we do that?" 

"We could play Twister!" 

"Nah, I've been feeling too flotsy lately" 

Monica rolled her eyes. 

"What do you think we should do, Rach?" 

There was no answer. 

"Rach? _Rachel?_" 

"What?" 

"What dimention are you in?" 

Rachel shot Phoebe a look. 

"Sorry, I'm just a little out of it" 

"Anything wrong?" 

"No, nothing wrong." 

At this moment, the door opened and Ross entered, holding a fine bouquet of white lillies. Rachel quickly sat up and stood. 

"Where have you been?" 

She approached him, while Monica and Phoebe looked at each other. 

"_That's_ what's wrong", Phoebe whispered. 

"What?" Ross asked his girlfriend. 

"I called you at work and they said you left early. Where were you?" 

It was not typical of Rachel to get so jealous, but Ross was not about to start with her. 

"I was just solving a few things at the bank." he lied as handed her the flowers "And picking these for you" 

Rachel picked them slowly and couldn't help but smile, leaning over to feel the soft scent that emerged from the imaculate petals. 

"Thank you" 

"What's this, girls' night?" 

"Yeah, didn't Rachel tell you?" 

"That's what I was calling for" she shot him a look. "You left your cell at home" 

"I know, I realised it when I got at work. I'm sorry" 

"It's okay" 

"But that's fine, 'cause I would still come over 'cause I wanted to see you" 

Rachel smiled brightly. 

"Oh yeah?" 

He pulled her closer and they kissed softly. 

"Yeah" 

"Oh, get a room" Phoebe mumbled. "Wait, _don't!_" 

Ross and Rachel startled. 

"Ew, I don't wanna see what they're gonna do!" Monica complained. 

"I know, but they had a whole weekend together, now she's ours" 

"Fair enough", Ross said. "I'll just see you tomorrow, sweetie?" 

"Sure" 

With another kiss, Ross made his way across the hall, leaving Rachel with a wide smile on her face. It seemed like their awkward anniversary phase was fading away quicker this year.

* * *

I know, if I keep writing these short-short chapters the story will be huge (as in with a lot of chapters, lol!), but...! What can I say, I've gotten used to it now! You know the drift, please leave me a review! Even if it's really short! 


	5. Chapter 5

**Baggage gift**  
by Tina

Alright, so I might race things a bit now to catch up. I think I'm stalling a little...! :) But tis one will be just one thing: Ross telling Rachel! gasps A little angst...!! Again, thanks for the reviews and please keep them coming! 

And yet again, I know I said I would never write fics again, but as it turns out... I'm a big sucker for 'Friends'! :)

* * *

Ross' heart was beating so hard he could swear he was hearing it over his uneven breathing. His trembling hands had to reach for the opening of the envelope several times untill he finally managed to take the thick papers from inside it. It took him longer then it usually would for him to go through the pages. His eyes wandered quickly up, down, from the right to the left, through the loose letters without following a rational order untill he found the word he was looking for. 

_Positive._

So sure that would be it, after all, Ross' reaction was to just sit there for a while. This made it real. It was really happening. 

"Ross, are you okay in there?" 

"I'll be right out", he just rose his voice high enough for her to be able to hear him. 

For some reason, Rachel found herself worrying too much about Ross that night. They'd arrived his apartment together, having just spent the rest of their afternoon at Central Perk with the gang. When they'd entered, there was an envelope adressed to him that seemed to have been slipped through the crack under the door. Ross had made a big deal about it, but had not shown it to her. He simply locked himself in the bathroom and had been in it for good five minutes now. 

What worried Rachel the most was the look in his eyes. He looked so scared. 

Finally, the door opened and Ross stepped out. Rachel was sitting on their bed, facing the door. Just waiting for him. She could sense something bad was about to come. Was he sick? Did some they knew die? Had he got fired from the museum? Was he leaving her?? 

"Rach, I... I need to talk to you" 

"Okay, hm, you're freaking me out, sweetie, is everything okay?" 

"Hm, I don't know, that'll depend on how you take this..." 

"What is it?" 

Ross sat down next to her and couldn't hold tears any longer. He became very aware of how much pain this cause to Rachel. He didn't want to hurt her. Not again. Her heart melted and she quickly threw her arms around him, letting him burry his face deep in her chest. 

"Shhhh, calm down, honey" 

Rachel rocked him back and forth, stroking his hair as tears found their way to her eyes aswell. God knows how long they held each other untill he finally pulled away and looked straight into her eyes. 

"You know I love you _so_ much, don't you Rach?" 

A sense of relief quickly washed over Rachel, but not for too long. Had he done something wrong again? Why was he telling her that? 

"What happened Ross?" 

"I, remember Isaak, that guy that came to see me the other day?" 

Things were falling into the right piece in Rachel's mind. She nodded. 

"He had some... news to tell me" 

He stopped and Rachel was left clueless for a long time. 

"What is it?" 

Ross' eyes travelled around the room. He spotted a picture of Rachel holding Ben in the nightstand. Both were smiling, both accepted each other as real mother and son. But this was different. His eyes then spotted Rachel's favorite bracelet resting next to the framed picture. Would it still be there the next day? 

"Ross?" 

Her soft, scared voice called him back to face her. 

"Chloe's passed away" 

Rachel just looked at him, expressionless. Ross continued, with more emotion in his voice and tears down his cheeks. 

"And Isaak told me she had a child. Hm, _my_ child. And now, now she has no place to go and he wants me to keep her." 

Silence fell into the room. Rachel slowly let her arms slide away from him. He took the envelope and handed it to her, more calm. 

"It's truth, it's my baby. Here's the DNA test" 

Rachel slowly looked through the pages. Melissa Lane Jordan, one year and three months old, daughter of Ross Geller... 

Suddenly, it became hard for Rachel to breath. She found herself inhailing shortly, yet it seemed like the air failed to enter her lungs. Ross panicked, kneeling down next to her. 

"Sweetie, calm down, breathe" 

Breath? _Breathe??_

He reached for a paper bag sitting on the bed carrying a few aspirins, emptyed it and handed it to Rachel. She breathed in and out inside the bag untill it expanded and contracted in a slow normal pace. 

She avoided his eyes. She couldn't believe what she had heard. He had a kid with another woman? He had _another_ kid with _another_ woman? 

But this time it wasn't just any woman. It was Chloe. And it happened on the night that could have killed their relationship. For all she knew, the night the _could_ kill their relationship. 

Tears filled her eyes again and quickly dropped onto her lap. She was looking at her pants, though her mind was far away. Her mind was everywhere. Thinking of that awful night, their awful fight, that awful feeling. Of the reconstruction of their relationship, of the planetarium filled with lillies and the words written in the stars: _Will you marry me?_. 

Of the future she had envisioned for them. The boy and the girl he'd always wished for the both of them running around the back yard of their two-stores house in... Scarsdale? 

It was over now. That picture no longer existed. 

Her retreat of everyday life, only a daydream away, had shattered. 

"Rach?" 

She raised her eyes long enough to quickly look at him and then back down. He sighed and burried his face on her knees, hugging her legs. If it wasn't for the bed under her this time, she wasn't sure if she could keep balance. She tossed the bag aside and kept breathing loudly, still in a regular speed. 

Those were the only sound that could be heard: her breathing and his sobbing. 

"What are you gonna do?" 

She finally managed to ask. If it wasn't for the silence that ruled the room, it was certain that he could not have heard her. 

"I have to take responsability, Rach. I just... I have to" 

Rachel closed her eyes, hurt. 

"What if I ask you not to?" 

Ross looked at her for a long time. 

"What?" 

He couldn't believe what he had just heard. 

"What good will come from this, Ross?" 

"Rachel, it doesn't matter, she's my responsability" 

"Why, because her mother took _advantage_ of you while you were drunk?!" 

Rachel's tone had raised greatly. 

"She did not take advantage of me!" 

Ross also rose his voice. Rachel stood there, her jaw hang open. Ross realised what he said. 

"I mean, sweetie-" 

"Get away from me!" 

She got up and pushed him away. She paced around the room while he hung his head down. She stopped by the door, her back turned to him. With a deep breath, she turned around. 

"I'm going to my apartment" 

She walked towards the nightstand and took hold of her bracelet. Ross quickly got up and approached her. 

"Wait, I didn't mean it like that, c'mon Rachel, let's not fight, please" 

They stood face to face to each other. 

"Listen, I know this is hard... I know it's gonna be tough and it's gonna take a lot from us, but... Rachel, I love you. Anything to save us is worth it" 

"If you say this than why do you wanna keep her?" 

"Because I have to, Rach. She's just a baby, she's lost her mother. I'm her father, I made her. I _can't_ abandon her, try to understand that" 

"I'm tired of understanding, Ross. I'm tired of _working_ and putting all my effort in this relationship..." 

"Don't say this, Rach, please don't" 

She kept looking at him for a long time. 

"This was supposed to be a happy time. We're gonna get married and my main concern should be what sort of flower will I choose for my bouquet! Not-not how am I gonna handle the baby concieved when my fiancée _cheated_ on me! I- I gotta go, Ross." 

"Rach... Please don't leave me like this" 

"I gotta be alone for a while, I'll talk to you later" 

She quickly left the room and Ross heard the main door slam. He sat down on the bed and let the tears run free. Still, he didn't back away on his decision. He _had_ to do this. 

In a cab home, Rachel calmly thought things through. Though she was confused, she was certain of one thing: she didn't want to lose Ross. 

She thought about the baby. The baby who should not pay for the past. The baby who aparently had no one else in this world. The baby who was now lucky she had Ross. 

With time, this could turn into some of the other things she could take. She could learn to accept it. 

But for now, she allowed herself to cry over that haunted night and its consequences...

* * *

You know you want to leave me a review! I know you do!! :) See ya next chapter! 


	6. Chapter 6

**Baggage gift**  
by Tina

This is so much fun, hearing from a lot of people I haven't heard of in a while and all :) waves Hey guys, how have you been? I've been alright! Pretty busy and all, moving like crazy and studying...! Oh, and on saturday I'm going away and I won't be able to update this anymore... But I'll try to write as much as I can untill then. I'll be back on the 10th of July and I'll hopefully finish it then! 

Thanks again for the reviews and don't forget to keep them coming! I wanna know what you think about every installment so I can see if I'm in the right track for you! Now enough with the chit-chatting! 

One more thing though! I think most of you already know this, but English is _not_ my first language. Portuguese is. So I do get a little things spelled wrong and all... So, well, you know... Ignore my grammar sometimes, will ya? ;) Thanks!

* * *

Three times the sun had risen and set since the night Ross had told Rachel about the baby and they had not spoken ever since. But after the fourth time the soft rays of light crept through the thin gaps of Rachel's courtains, not nearly brightly enough to wake her up, he went to see her. He exchanged a few words with Monica who was already up and about making coffee and then quickly excused himself to his girlfriend's room. If he could still call her that, he wondered. 

He managed to open the door withtout the slightest noise. There she was, sleeping peacefully on her side of the bed. Seeing her lying there on his right side for some reason brought back memories. Memories of the first few times they shared a bed and their fun discussions over what side each of them would sleep on. After many atempts paused only so they could fool around, Ross had finally convinced her he should stay on the left side because that was the side he kept his alarm clock. And since he woke up earlier, they could avoid needlessly waking her up. 

_"But I can think of a few things we both could do, up so early..."_

_"Oh yeah? Then the left side is all yours, baby"_

And though it was good at first, after their phase of being together everytime they had an oportunity to, that changed and Ross was back to his left side. He would wake up early and simply kiss Rachel goodbye when he left. But it was fine. Those phases were true for every relationship and he enjoyed every single one of them with her. Their intimacy had grown and they didn't have to prove anything to the other anymore. 

Either way, those memories still had him longing for the past. Not because of their lovey-doveyness, nor for the fewer responsabilities they had back then. But because it was before _that_ night. That night which had now become a turning point at their relationship. It would always be used as a reference. The before and after that night. 

Things _were_ different. 

Her stronger intake of breath brought him back to the present. He always loved watching her while she slept. She looked so peaceful, so beautiful and innocent. 

_Like a little child._

Ross was then startled by the alarm clock ringing. She woke up and turned around to turn it off. 

Turned to his left side. 

She spotted him and quickly sat up straight. 

"Hey" her voice was soft. 

"Hi" 

A short silence followed. 

"Hm, can we talk?" 

"Sure" 

She pulled her blankets up and made room for him. He sat down by her feet, looking down at the floor and then up at her. 

"How are you?" 

"Better" 

"Really?" she nodded "And, hm, how are we?" 

Rachel looked into his puppie eyes and couldn't hold it any longer. It was the first time in three years she had gone days by without speaking to him. It was killing her. Those long days gave her enough time to think and she had made up her mind. She would support him. That was what she had written on the sketches of her vows, wasn't it? She intended to keep her word from now. 

Slowly, she crawled near him and kissed his lips, wrapping her arms around him. Ross was taken by surprise, but gladly accepted her tender gesture. 

"We're okay, sweetie. I mean... I can accept that, we'll deal with it, alright?" 

Ross' smile was wide. 

"I love you" he mouthed. 

"I know" she said, smiling. 

They hugged for a long time. He stroked her hair for the longest time, not knowing where to begin with the second part of the conversation he had so carefully planned. 

"Hm, Rach?" 

"Yeah?" 

He broke their hug. 

"Listen... I'm going over to see the baby today." Rachel quickly looked away and then back at Ross. "It would mean a lot if you came with me" 

"I- I don't know, Ross" 

"Please, Rachel" his voice was flat. 

She sighed and nodded. 

"Okay"

* * *

If it wasn't for Ross' tight grip on her left hand, Rachel could swear this was a dream. _A nightmare?_ It was all so surreal. She could feel her legs moving, but it felt like they had life of theirown. She was just being carried. Did she even want to be there? 

Now it didn't matter. They'd stopped. They were facing the door to apartment 36. 

Ross' knuckles met the hard wood three times and the sound it produced seemed somehow distant. 

"I'll be right there" 

Who'd said that? A ghost? 

The door opened and they faced the same man who'd been to Ross' apartment not long ago. As if in flashes, Rachel remembered him from many years ago. Yes, that bushy big hair, colorful hippie shirts and marijuana smell. He used to drop by the coffee house oftenly and she even got to serve him a few times while she still worked there. He was always with a woman. 

Was that... _her?_

"She's right here, come on in" 

Rachel searched through her memories, trying to recollect her face. She failed. Better this way, she thought. This was not the best moment to think about it and make things worse. 

Again she was being carried, now into the livingroom. It all looked fairly organised and clean. The first thing she spotted was a trunk filled with toys near a... playpen. There was a baby playing in there with a teddy bear that was almost her own size. The small figure had her back turned to them, but they could clearily see her raising her tiny chubby hands to pat on the bear's head. Her hair was dark, as long as a one year old hair could be and straight. 

Rachel felt something stirring in belly. 

"Melissa, look who's here" 

The baby quicky turned around, full aware of what Isaak had told her. Rachel was taken aback by the resemblance. Those eyes, they were Ross' eyes. The rest... they all belonged to that face she was trying to remember. The face that now had become so vivid in Rachel's memory. 

The face she was now trying to forget. 

She felt Ross' hand weakly let go of hers. She looked at him and saw him melting away. He approached the playpen and knelt down, looking as though as he was in a trance. 

It was torture. 

It wasn't fair. 

It should be their baby Ross was supposed to be melting for. It should be her and Ross' traces mixed up in a new human being that she should be staring at. Not this. This was simply... not what was supposed to be happening. 

Tears were filling Ross' eyes and he quickly brushed them away, not wanting to compromise the beautiful view. The beautiful baby that was now smiling back at him. 'Must think I'm an idiot with this silly look upon my face', he though. 

He did look silly. He looked adoringly silly. 

Isaak watched Ross stare at Melissa and was sure he had done the right thing. Ross was the nice guy Chloe always claimed him to be, after all. He would be able to give her all the things Isaak knew he couldn't. Melissa now had a new mother figure to look up to. She had a steady home, she even had an older brother. As for the future, Isaak knew Ross would provide her good education. She'd go to college, Chloe's big plan for her little girl. And he could also envision lots of family trips and fun camping adventures. 

Melissa had a family. 

Or did she? 

Ross quickly turned back and looked at Rachel, smiling. She forced a smile back and he took her hand, pulling her down next to him. She knelt down and looked at the baby, who turned her atention back to her teddy bear. Then she quickly looked back at the two strangers, showing them her toy. 

"Teddy" 

Her voice was like music to Ross' ears. It was not just a typical baby's voice. It was soft, girly, soothing. It was the sound he woud have imagined to come from an angel. 

It was his angel. 

Ross had always adored kids and this baby only proved his undying love for them. Right now it didn't matter the circunstances she had been concieved. All the bad that was caused that night seemed to look so small compared to that little miracle. He had to overlook the situation. Life had been created. The tears dried. The wounds healed. 

_His_ tears. _His_ wounds. 

"Can I hold her?" Ross asked. 

"Sure, of course" 

Ross stood up and Isaak approached the play pen. Rachel stood up aswell and just watched. Isaak whispered sweet words to Melissa while he picked her up and placed her in Ross' arms. Melissa looked at her father and quickly placed one of her hands over his nose. She wore an expression Ross couldn't read. 

"You're- you're supposed to make a sound. Like a car honk, you know?" Isaak hinted. 

"Oh" 

Melissa tried it again and sure enough Ross fullfilled her wish this time. She squealed in delight, giggling adoringly, placing both of her hands on her face. Ross chuckled, his eyes sparkling. Suddenly, her atention turned fully to Rachel. Ross smiled and approached his girlfriend. Melissa's hands reached for Rachel's hair imediately, taking her by surprise. Rachel backed away. 

"Calm down, Rach, she's not gonna hurt you" 

Ross aproached her again and Melissa hadn't given up on her task to feel Rachel's hair. Rachel stood still this time, aprehensive. 

The baby's hands were surprisingly gentle. Her little mouth was open, revealing a few of her teeth that had already grown. She was in awe, watching the way Rachel's golden hair shone under light. 

"She liked the color of your hair" Isaak pointed out. 

"Oh... Hm, thanks" Rachel tried joking to the baby, though still uncomfortable. 

Ross smiled at Rachel and then back at Melissa. 

"Wait untill you see your brother" 

Rachel's insides were still crumbling. She'd deal with it. She always did. Things happened and she just dealt with them. Things changed and she simply adjusted. She'd swallow it down. She was getting good at it. Ross looked so happy. So she was happy too. 

...Evetually, maybe.

* * *

I know, this was way too corny, really badly written and etc. I don't know, I'm not exactly inspired today! But I didn't want to wait untill I achieved the right writing mood! My screenwriting teacher says it's not all about inspiration. We need to force ourselves to write sometimes. _Something_ will come out! And "something"'s a beginning! ;) Later we can work on it and try to make it better. So, yeah, maybe I'll work on this later! For now, I'll just post it and have you tell me what you think! 

_Please??_ :) 


	7. Chapter 7

**Baggage gift**  
by Tina

Sorry this one's taken a little longer to come out! Notice how I said longer, not long! You can't say I'm taking too long to write this, it's not fair! lol :) I also had reasons to take so long...! First it was the cold whether making my fingers feel funny. Then I had a day _full_ of work! I'm on vacation now, so free to write as I wish! ;) Hm, untill saturday, that is. And _then_ I hated everything I wrote. I dislike this chapter too, but I'll get it over :P 

Oh, and commenting on this review I got... Thanks for complimenting my English! ;) However, I'm not portuguese, lol! I'm brazilian! 

Alright, now on with it! Oh, and Vero and Maeva waves Long time!

* * *

Rachel looked around the room and found herself quite satisfied with her work. The whole livingroom was decorated with many pink ballooms, dolls and banners. She had to be positive about everything and she had to admit she had started well. She offered to take care of the decoration for Melissa's welcome party herself and even though Ross thought it was too much, he didn't want to take this from her. It was great she had even offered to do such thing, so he didn't say a thing. 

Too busy contemplating the apartment, Rachel didn't notice the approach of her best friend, Monica, who'd arrived earlier to help. 

"You doing okay?" 

Rachel looked at her and smiled. 

"Yeah, I'm fine. Do you think this looks good enough?" 

"Even better" 

Rachel smiled wider. 

Ross would be arriving any minute with Melissa. Other then the rest of the gang, Ross' parents, Carol, Susan and Ben were also bound to show up. 

Phoebe, Joey and Chandler arrived first, quickly followed by Carol, Susan and Ben. Ross' son was almost four years old and easily considered Rachel his third mommy. He ran across the room as soon as he arrived, meeting Rachel with arms wide open to welcome him in a tight hug. 

"Mommy!!" he squealed. 

"Hey Ben, how have you been? I've missed you!" 

"I've missed you too! Look what Mommy Susan gave me!" 

And he rambled on and on about this new collective cards that were aparently the new sensation around boys his age. Rachel had learned how to deal with those situations, knowing exactly when to look surprised, amazed and, most importantly, to show interest. It was easy now, Rachel thought. She'd learned how to deal with it, she'd grown to love Ben. It filled her with confidence. So it wasn't the same thing as Melissa, but it still made a difference. 

Carol and Susan approached her, greeting her with warm hugs and sweet words. It would seem strange to some how close they could be despite the fact they were all so involved, in one way or another, with the same man. Carol clearily showed concern in her eyes. 

"Are we okay with this?" she simply asked, not having to waste time explaining what this was about. 

Rachel just nodded, ruffling her hand in Ben's blonde hair. 

Soon, the door opened and Ross entered, pushing Melissa on a stroller. 

"Very ponctual, as always" Carol commented, exchanging smiles with her ex-husband's girlfriend. 

Rachel looked over at Ross and they also smiled at each other. Phoebe and Monica leaned over the baby and Ross' atention quickly turned to them. Monica looked up at her brother and Rachel could see tears in her eyes. Proud tears of a woman who'd just met her new niece. They hugged and Monica quickly turned her atention back to the baby. 

Soon Melissa was off the stroller, being held by any one who'd be interested. For the time being, Rachel was not one of them. She was still with Ben, who looked confused and aprehensive at the little person who'd suddenly become the new center of all atentions. 

"You know Ben, you're a big brother now. See that? That's your little sister. Did your other mommies tell you about that?" 

"Yes" 

Rachel smiled at Ben as he just kept watching Melissa with the others. He looked thoughtful. 

"But, mommy... Who's her mommy? Are you?" 

"No, sweetie, I'm not her mom." and then she thought "Well... I am now, kind of. Like I am your mommy too, you see?" 

"No" 

Rachel sighed and smiled. 

"She's your daddy's daughter, like you're your daddy's son. But I'm not _really_ your mom." and she quickly corrected herself, not wanting this to come out the wrong way "But then again I am" 

Ben looked even more confused. Rachel chuckled at her manners of trying to teach a three years old this sort of thing. Sometimes it was hard for _her_ to understand it! 

"You know what? I'm gonna give this a lot of thought and I'll come up with an easier way of explaining you this, okay?" 

Ben looked interested. 

"Okay" he said with a smile. 

Rachel smiled and kissed the top of his head. A shadow on Ben's face made Rachel look up. Ross was standing next to them, having just managed to take Melissa from Monica's eager arms. The baby was smiling, looking as though she was having a blast being so popular. Upon seeing Rachel again, she quickly flew her hands towards her hair one more time. Ross chuckled. 

"Can you take her for a bit?" 

"Sure" 

Rachel picked her up and placed her in her lap, sitting down on the couch. Ben remained next to them, resting both his hands on Rachel's knees. For a moment, Rachel glanced from one to another child of Ross'. 

"Can she play, mommy?" 

"Well, she can't play as well as you, Ben. She just plays with dolls and teddy bears and all." 

"Oh..." he kept watching Melissa holding strands of Rachel's hair, standing up on her lap, being fussy. "That's boring" 

Rachel chuckled, taken by surprised. 

"But she'll grow up quickly" 

"Still... she will play with dollies!" 

"Okay, that's truth. But there's plenty of other things you guys could do together" 

"Like what?" 

"Like... you could teach her the cool things you can make with Lego! Or you could teach her about the dinosaurs your father taught you about, remember?" 

"But dinosaurs are boring too!" 

Rachel chuckled again. Ben was turning into such a smart little boy. Ross did not look so happy about this last comment though, and the dreamy smile he had on his face vanished for a few seconds. He and Rachel kept looking at each other and then he picked Ben up in one quick movement. 

"Oh yeah, dinosaurs are boring, are they?" 

Ben was giggling. Ross held him and tickled him till Ben was beginning him to stop almost incomprehensively. 

Rachel was smiling truthfully watching them. She looked at Melissa again and saw her smiling at her. She was really kind of cute. It seemed Isaak had managed to attach a bow to her hair for that special night. It was red, the perfect contrast against her bright white skin and her dark eyes and hair. For the first time, Rachel changed roles with Melissa and allowed herself to run her own fingertips along the dark locks that ended in soft curls. It was so smooth. Out of impulse, she leaned over and burried her nose in there. 

She smelled like... a baby. 

Rachel let her nose travel from the hair down to Melissa's neck. Melissa giggled loudly and Rachel backed away, chuckling. When she looked up at Ross, she saw true love in his eyes. But when she turned her sight slightly to his side, she saw surprise in his parents'.

* * *

Rachel had already taken a shower, blow dried her hair, applied night cream on her face, brushed her teeth _and_ read two chapters of her book. Meanwhile, Ross was still tucking Melissa down. That's okay, she thought. It's her first night at a strange house, it's only normal. And just when her book was starting to get interesting and finally compete with the thoughts in her head, she heard the door to their room open. Ross was holding an eletronic device Rachel didn't recognise. 

"What's that?" she closed her book and set it on the nightstand, sure she'd have to re-read whatever it was she ran her eyes over. 

"Oh, it's a baby monitor. This way we know wh-" 

"Right, right, baby monitor" she cut him. 

"I just couldn't leave her in there" he raised a hand to his chest "she looks so cute when she's sleeping" 

Rachel smiled weakly at him. Being already ready for bed, Ross crawled next to her. 

"But, you know, then I missed my other cute girl" 

He kissed his way up her right shoulder, taking his time once he reached her neck. 

"Oh yeah?" 

She caressed his biceps for a while then moved her hands to his back as they began to lie down. She quickly wondered if this was the right thing to do. They'd always avoided having sex when Ben was around. It was not that they had an agreement, they just didn't have that habit. It always just seemed like they were too tired from keeping the child entertained all day. And Rachel always wondered that maybe Ross felt weird about it. 

But then she thought of how Melissa will be always around now. Everyday, everynight... Always. 

And if Ross was now okay with doing this under the circunstances, she was not about to stop him. For some reason, celibate didn't seem very much appealing. Specially not with his his hands running up her leg, giving her goosebumps. His lips found hers and their passion soon grew as they sunk into it. 

But noises came from the monitor. 

_"Hewo?? Saa!! Mommy!"_

Melissa's voice was emotional and they could tell she was quietly crying. Ross and Rachel pulled apart and looked at each other. She had to admit Melissa's last word broke her heart. Ross quickly got up and left the room, without a word. 

Rachel sat up and wondered if she should hop on the shower again. Icy cold water, this time. 

_"It's okay, Mel, everything's gonna be okay..." _

Rachel laid her head back down on the pillow and pretended Ross' sweet words were for her. Drifting off, she still managed to hear him one last time 

_"It's gonna be aright, I'm right here with you"_

* * *

I'll try getting the next chapter done later on today! ;) Now please leave me a few words, I love it when you do that! :) 


	8. Chapter 8

**Baggage gift**  
by Tina

Keep those reviews coming, puh-lease :)

* * *

After a long day of work, there was nothing like sipping a cup of hot cappuchino during a nice uncompromised conversation with her best friends. Rachel had the whole arm chair to herself and enjoyed every inch of it, her back placticly reaching the botton cushion as she was amost lying down. It was then she realised just how tired she really was. The past few days had worn her out completely, perhaps not just physically. 

Melissa had stayed up almost every night. She wouldn't cry, but she'd seem upset enough to keep Ross up, worried. Rachel would wake up with his sudden movements on the bed. The nervous tossing and turning or the getting up and lying back down. 

Fortunately, today was friday. Ross had promised to take her out and leave Monica babysitting Melissa. However, as she watched Joey and Chandler discuss bathing suits she realised she'd rather stay there than go through the whole process of going out on a date. And that sure meant a lot, considering the topic being discussed. 

But the whole outfit picking, applying make up, going all the way to the restaurant, the apetizers, the wine drinking, small talking,... God, she was tired for that. 

She shook it off. She had to go. She hadn't been able to be alone with her fiancé in quite a while. She missed it. Maybe they should just go to this little romantic café they'd been to a few months ago. That was nice, she remembered. 

Satisfied with her idea, Rachel finished her drink as Joey and Chandler now discussed underwear, much to Monica ad Phoebe's displeasure. With a smile on her face, she said her goodbyes and went up to her apartment. 

Just as she was climbing up the stairs, her cellphone rang. Seeing Ross' name flashing on the screen, Rachel smiled wider. 

"Hey, honey, I was just about to call you" 

"Really? How are you?" 

"Fine, I just had a better idea for something for us to do tonight" she said as she pushed her apartment door open. 

"Right, about that... unless that idea is staying over here, I'm gonna have to let you down." 

"Oh" 

The clear disapointment in her voice stung him. 

"I'm sorry, Melissa's caught the flu." 

Silence. 

"But hey, come over, we can watch a movie or something" 

"No, actually, it's better this way. I was gonna tell you that maybe we should call it off 'cause I got a lot of work to do" 

He could tell she was lying. 

"Right" 

"But hey, tell Melissa I hope she gets better soon" 

"Okay, thanks. We'll drop by in the morning" 

"Sure" 

"Maybe we can do something tomorrow night" 

"Yeah, okay. Listen, I gotta go now then. See ya" 

"Okay, I love you" 

"Love you too" 

Rachel hung up and set her cell on the table, next to her keys. So much for wanting to use that new tank top...!

* * *

_

You've got such a pretty smile  
It's a shame the things you hide behind it  
Let 'em go  
Give it up for a while  
Let 'em free and we will both go find it 

_

I know there's nowhere you can hide it  
I know the feeling of alone  
I know that you do not feel invited  
But, come back, come back in from the cold... 

The sound of Jude's "I know" was soft and echoed around the hard walls surrounding Rachel. She was in the tub and had to remind herself every five minutes not to let herself fall asleep in there. But ten minutes passed this time and Rachel surrendered to the warm athmosphere she had created in the bathroom for herself. The stereo was just loud enough for her to hear it through the perfect silence that surrounded her. The scented clandles replaced electricity and she was merged into a mix of oils, bath salts and bubbles. 

She was quickly awaken, however, by the sudden sound of a door swinging open. 

"Rachel?" 

"I'm in here. You can come in" 

The bathroom door opened and Monica looked in. 

"Oh, hey. Aren't you going out with Ross? I just came up so I could be home when he picked you up and dropped Melissa" 

She entered the bathroom. 

"Slight change of plans...!" 

"Man, you could've told me. I just had to skip going out with this really cute guy just so you guys could go out!" 

"Hey, _he_ cancelled on me, go complain to him" 

Monica noticed more than just annoyance in Rachel tone and sighed. Over the past few days she'd thought a lot about just how much Rachel must love Ross to be so cool over everything. Slowly, she knelt down next to the tub. 

"Is everything okay, Rach?" 

"Why does everyone keep asking this?" she snapped. 

"Geez, Rachel, I don't know, because we _care_ about you?" 

Rachel looked down. 

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry, Mon. And I'm sorry about the cute guy" 

Monica smiled comfortingly at Rachel. 

"Don't worry, we're going out tomorrow night." 

Rachel smiled sadly at Monica and then lowered her sight. 

"I've just been going through a lot, I didn't mean to take it out on you" 

"That's fine, Rachel. Just keep in mind that you can tell me anything, okay?" 

Rachel nodded. 

"Thanks, Mon." 

Monica got up. 

"So it's dinner for two then?" 

"Sounds like it" 

"What do you wanna eat? C'mon, enjoy my temporary wish to please you" 

Rachel chuckled. 

"Then can we have some junk food?" 

"Junk food? I was thinking maybe some salmon with" watching Rachel's look, she quickly stopped. "Okay, fries and burger it is" 

Monica reached for the doorknob. 

"Hey, Mon" she turned around "in a way, I'm glad we both got blown up tonight" 

Monica smiled at Rachel. 

"Well, actually, I was the one who called it off" Rachel shot her a look "-but that's not the point! Let me get back to your special dinner" 

"Thank you, Monica" 

Hey voice was filled with sincerity. Monica nodded and left the bathroom.

* * *

Rachel woke up the next day feeling a set of lips on her cheek. She smiled and opened her eyes. It was not what she was expecting. At all. Not only she was not expecting to see Melissa leaning over her as she also did not expect to feel so good about it. She smiled and Melissa giggled, backing away from Rachel for a bit, holding her tiny hands over her mouth. Rachel chuckled and sat up, spotting Ross watching them. 

"Good morning" she said. 

He joined the two girls on the bed and kissed Rachel's lips softly. 

"Good morning" 

"Is she feeling better?" 

"Why don't you ask her?" 

Rachel looked back at Melissa. 

"You feeling better, Melissa?" 

"Boo-boo!" Melissa kept repeating, using different entonations for each time. 

Rachel smiled and looked at Ross. 

"Okay, what's that supposed to mean?" 

"Beats me!" They chuckled "But she's better. Her fever came down and she ate well during breakfast" 

"That's good." 

They watched her explore Rachel's bed, with all it's blankets and pillows. 

"You sure are curious, Missy" 

"Missy!" she repeated, indignant. But then giggled to herself. Ross and Rachel couldn't help but chuckle again. 

"She's such a happy little baby, isn't she?" he commented. 

"She is" 

"Did she sleep okay?" 

"Oh yeah, good news. Whole night through. It was probably the effect of the medication I gave her, but still, it's a good start" 

Rachel smiled. 

"It is" 

"So... what should we do tonight?" 

"I don't know. But Monica won't be able to take Melissa, she's got plans" 

"Oh..." 

A short silence filled the room. 

"I'm sorry Rach, I know you wanted us to do something together, just us" 

"It's okay, it's not your fault" 

Or... was it? Sometimes that little questions insisted on popping up on the back of Rachel's head.

* * *

The t.v. was on, but Ross and Rachel were busier playing with Melissa. They were sitting on the floor, a little far apart. Ross was holding Melissa's hands and she was standing up. 

"Alright, go Melissa, go" 

"Come here, Mellie, come here" Rachel called with her arms streched out. 

Melissa looked at Rachel and smiled, quickly letting go of Ross' hands and making her way over to Rachel in quick steps. Rachel pulled her into a hug as soon as the little toddler reached her. 

"Yay, Melissa!" 

The baby giggled in Rachel's arms, pulling away to show them her pretty smile. 

"You should have the apartment baby proofed again, you know? Since Ben grew up a bit more we sort of became more relaxed over these things" 

"Nah, I don't think we need to worry about that. I mean, we should be looking for a new apartment, so I'm not gonna waste more money with this one" 

"What?" Rachel looked up at him, confused. 

"Well, we are gonna get ourselves a new apartment, right?" 

Rachel still looked lost. 

"Rachel, the wedding, remember?" 

"Oh. Right" 

She felt stupid for not getting it right away. She looked at Melissa and pulled her up to stand on her feet. 

"C'mon Melissa, back to Mr. Dino Guy now" 

Ross chuckled and accepted Melissa happily as she approached him. Rachel looked at the t.v. and saw the show she was waiting for being announced. She quickly got up and approached the couch. 

"Oh, it was about time" 

Ross watched Rachel on the couch, somewhat disapointed. So that was priority?

* * *

Okay, hate me for posting such small chapters... I've seem worst out here! lol! And this one was a tad longer than the rest. Again, I think I might add a new one later on today...! I'm pretty bored... Leave me a review again, will ya? :) 


	9. Chapter 9

**Baggage gift**  
by Tina

  
  
I realised I'm back to writing things mainly from Rachel's point of view. I wanted to keep a balance between her and Ross, but it seems like it's much easier for me to focus on Rach. What can I say, she's my favorite! :) 

About a comment saying things have slowed down... well, I figured it had to. Since I'm writing quite a lot I don't consider this to be a problem. Specially because I'm adding things that will be important later on the fic ;) In any case, I'm picking up a quicker pace again now ;) 

Okay, so this is my 3rd update today. There probably won't be any tomorrow (thursday, June 17th) so I'm making up for it! Please-please-please: reviews!!

* * *

PMS was getting the best of Rachel that day. She was trying hard to concentrate on discussing a few wedding things with Monica at their apartment, but her mind was far away. In a few hours she'd be meeting Mindy in a restaurant. She'd called a few days ago asking if they could catch up one night. Rachel coudn't help but wonder what that was really all about. Knowing her old friends, Rachel could already envision the whole night before her. She'd certainly have to to listen to her stories about her latest trip to Europe, the new clothes, cars, the new decoration of her and Barry's condo and so on. 

Not that Rachel missed those things, but what did _she_ have to bash about these days? Her fiancé she barely saw and his new baby? 

_So, how old is she? A year and a half, really? But I thought you and Ross had been together for three years now._

Just thinking about the conversation made Rachel shiver. 

"You know what, Mon, I think we're done for the night" 

"Alright" Monica respectfully agreed. "What time are you leaving?" 

"As soon as I finish getting ready" 

"In three hours, really?" 

Rachel shot her a look, but, nonetheless, smiled. 

"Don't start with me today, I'm a wreck. I swear I'm about to lose it" 

"Hm, not a good day to meet Mindy, I think" 

"Probably not" 

"Care for a tea to calm your nerves before you leave then?" 

"Thanks, Mon, that'd be great" 

At that moment, Ross entered holding Melissa, a briefcase and wearing work clothes. Phoebe came in with him and they were chatting. 

"Oh no, that's too bad..." Phoebe commented. 

Ross just shook his head and looked at the girls. 

"Hey" he approached Rachel and kissed her lips "I need you to watch Melissa tonight" 

"What?" 

"I got to meet my boss at a bar to discuss some things, I have a good feeling about this" 

"Hm, sorry, honey, I can't" 

Ross watched her. 

"Why not?" 

"'Cause I also have plans for tonight" 

Ross eyed her and her temper began to rise already. She knew what he was thinking. 

"With whom?" 

"Mindy" 

"Your ex-fianc's husband?" 

"Yeah, why?" 

"Can't you call it off?" 

Temper rising a tad more... Any other day, Rachel would be pleased to sacrifice one of her plans because of Ross, specially when she was not looking foward going at all, like this time. However, this wasn't just any other day. They'd been through a lot of silent discussions lately and this wasn't making it any better. 

"No, Ross, I can't! She's probably already on her way to the city" 

"But who's gonna watch Melissa?" 

Rising, rising, rising... 

"I'm sorry, but that's not my problem now, is it?" 

"But it is!" 

He had crossed the line. 

"I'm sorry, what?" 

"Oh-ow" Phoebe said to Monica, both backing away. Ross and Rachel simply ignored their presence. 

"She is _my_ responsability, Ross? Look, I've been trying to be supportive and all that crap, but I don't _have_ to do _anything_, alright?" 

"Rachel, stop being unfair, I'm just asking you for a favor" 

"Oh, really? Because I remember hearing you just now saying this is my problem" 

"Because I want you to be involved in this. I thought we were going to be a family" 

"You know what the problem is, Ross? I had no choice over this whole thing" 

"And do you think I did?" 

"Should've thought of that before you slept with her, shouldn't you?" 

Ross went silent, looking at her with pain in his eyes. 

"That was unnecessary, Rachel" 

"Oh, really? Because sometimes it looks like you seem to have forgotten all about it these days" 

"Do you really think that a _day_ goes by without me regretting everything, Rachel?" 

"Well, you sure forgot how to show that" 

"What do you want me to do?" 

"Just leave me alone for a while, Ross..." 

With that, Rachel entered her bedroom. With the slam of the door, Ross looked down at Melissa, playing on the floor, completely oblivious to everything that had happened.

* * *

Sure enough the rest of Rachel's evening blew. She eventually figured out why Mindy had looked for her. She wanted to talk to someone, someone who'd listen. Rachel didn't exactly listen, but she still managed to be the perfect company having spent the whole meal quiet. Mindy went on and on about something Rachel could only recall as being about a divorce. Was Mindy divorcing Barry? It didn't matter, she didn't care. Her talk earlier with Ross was by far the most important thing in her mind. 

She thought of all the things they said and got frightned by some conclusions she reached. She had not lied or said things out of frustration, on an impulse. She still meant everything she had told him. 

Three months had passed since Melissa had entered their lives and things weren't much better. There were days Rachel didn't seem to mind. She'd play with the baby and act as if things were okay. But deep down, it still hurt. It was still a major problem and she wasn't sure if she could deal with it, ever. One thing was to live with the past in the back of her memory. But having to _face_ that everytime she looked at a baby's face was not fair. 

It was not fair to Melissa, not fair to Rachel and not fair to Ross. 

If this was something she simply wouldn't deal with it, then this should be it. Ross had made his intentions clear, he would not abandon Melissa for her. Then she had to be the one to do something about it. Her conscience was clean, she had tried. Now there was nothing left to do. 

After pondering the whole night about it, Rachel went straight to Ross', not minding the time. And so at two in the morning, Ross woke up with a knock at his bedroom's door. He stirred and softly opened his eyes. Still groggy, he took a while recognise Rachel's silhouette on the darkness. 

"Rachel?" 

"Can I?" she motioned to the light switcher. 

"Sure" He sat up and squinted as the lights went on. "What time is it?" 

She looked at her watch and looked a bit surprised herself. 

"Two thirty. Sorry to wake you up, but we need to talk" 

"Sure, that's fine. Hm, sit" 

Rachel quickly looked down and then sat down on the bed, looking at him. 

"The thing is..." it took all of her strengh to say the next words "this isn't working, Ross" 

"What?" Ross couldn't believe his ears. Was she doing what he thought she was? Was she... breaking up with him? 

"I think... we should call the wedding off and... just go on as friends from now on. I've been thinking a lot about what's going on and... I think that's the smartest thing for us to do now." 

He couldn't think of anything to say. He just watched her, dumbfounded. This wasn't supposed to be happening. Soon they were to be married and together forever. Breaking up was not part of their plans. 

"I know I said I was taking this whole thing with Melissa well, but as it turns out... I'm just not. She brings back many memories and I just can't deal with it. Besides, I- I don't want that right now. This wasn't what was supposed to be happening, Ross. It was supposed to be just us and we'd get married and go on our honey moon and have _our_ apartment and-" 

"But we had agreed we were going to have children anyway, Rach" 

"Yes, Ross. _Our_ children. I'm sorry, I know this may come off as being selfish, but Melissa is not mine! I didn't ask for her, she's not my responsability. I'm not ready for that right now, this isn't working out" 

"But Rachel, you know I can't just ger rid of her" 

"I know that and I understand it. She's _your_ responsability. It's just that now you come with an even bigger package! To have you I must have Ben and Carol and Susan and now Melissa! I'm not saying I don't wanna be with you anymore just because of that. Under any other circunstance, that would be fine. But Ross... she is still _her_ child. She still remindes me of what happened and it's killing me. Those visions I used to have of you with her are back and I can't cope with it, it's _too_ hard." 

"Rach, I- I'm sorry" 

"I know, Ross. I've heard that speech of yours a million times" He looked hurt. "I know you're sorry, I know you'd take it back if you could, I know you were just sad because you thought we were broken up and I was sleeping with Mark." she sighed "And I know you love me. I _know_ you didn't mean for any of this to happen. But it did and now there's a whole new set of consequences I can't take." 

Ross was too shocked to say much. Being awakened in the middle of his peaceful slumber only to lose the love of his life was too surreal. He was still expecting this to be nothing but a dream. When he did manage to speak, his voice came out emotional and shaky, making Rachel tremble. 

"I don't wanna lose you, Rachel" 

Rachel finally sobbed and they hugged. 

"I don't wanna lose you either" 

And they cried into each other's shoulder for a long time, untill she pulled away. 

"But I can't see us diving even deeper into this when we know it's just not working" 

"We can try harder, Rachel, I think if you-" 

She placed a finger on his lips. 

"No, Ross. I deserve this. Please let me go. I need to let go of this, it's hurting me. You're hurting me." she dried her tears "I do love you, you know that. I've never loved anyone like this before. But it's time to let go now" 

Seeing the look on Ross' face was only making this harder on Rachel. So, at last, she looked away from them. She looked at the floor and closed her eyes. Tears flowed even more. She just looked back long enough to place one last kiss on his lips. He kissed back and held her hands sweetly, as if begging her to stay with him. 

Finally, she got up and left the room.

* * *

Awww :( Don't worry, they _will_ get back together. I hope I'm not spoiling you, it's just that I hate it when some writers don't tell me how the ending it's gonna be like. It's very annoying when you read long chapters only to find out that Rachel ends up being with Joey at the end. Ew! Sorry, there's just no other way for me. It's either Ross and Rachel or... Rachel and Ross! The end! lol! :D I'm a sucker for those 2!! 


	10. Chapter 10

**Baggage gift**  
by Tina

  
  
This will sadly be my last chapter untill mid July :( I shouldn't even be writing this, I still need to pack!! But, well... ;) Not too much action, mainly feelings. But I'll try writing more to make it feel like it's really adding something to the story as a whole. I'm also trying to get a better perspective of Ross. I don't want him to look bad...! I love him, I hope this remains clear :) I hate it when people make him seem like such a bad guy in fics...!!

* * *

The days quickly passed Rachel by. But then again, not at all. She didn't seem to have a moment to figure out how controversial her vision of time had become, even though she found herself constantly being bored. Before she noticed, the day had ended and a new one begun. They went by fast and quickly turned into weeks. Soon, they were months. 

Before she knew it, time had gone by. But looking back, it seemed like it was a life time ago she was in Ross' arms. 

Two months. She had been apart from him for two months and things didn't seem to get any better. She figured time would heal everything. That's what people say, isn't it? Was it possible that they might've been wrong? 

She thought a lot about her decision. Every day, in fact. She knew it would hurt, but she considered that, since she was doing the right thing, things would change for better. 

Had she made the wrong decision then? 

Or was this simply what getting over a true love was all about? She had never done it in the past, so it was a question yet to be answered. But it scared her to think about it. Again, people say a true love never dies. Would she have to live with her feelings for Ross for the rest of her life, then? 

Maybe she should stop listening to people. 

She couldn't bear those thoughts. So she supressed them and threw herself into work, trying hard to occupy her mind with anything other than him. She had to move on. 

Ross finally laid down on his own bed after two hours of tucking Melissa in. He didn't mind it, though. In fact, he forced himself to stay there the longer he could. Being with the baby was good not only because she brought joy into his current sad life, but also because it kept him away from his lonely room. It scared him to realise how big his bed suddenly felt. He was intimidated by the empty space next to him and by the imaculate silence that fell once he was done with his dutties as a father. 

Having also been too occupied with his work and Melissa, he'd spent most of his nights too tired to give this much thought in the beginning. It was a quick escape from reality. He didn't want to face the fact that, after three years, Rachel's wasn't by his side anymore. She wouldn't be there to make him laugh, to seduce him or even drive him crazy sometimes. 

He missed her so much. 

After his divorce, Ross went through a similar process. After winning Rachel's heart- and tearing it apart-, though, he realised the main difference about the situations. Back then, he could now admit he missed the stability other than the relationship itself. Though the fire had died, the marriege was still a hard, strong structure to support him. Once it was gone, he felt free to fall apart. 

He found the safety he missed from his marriege in Rachel, even though they didn't have to go that far in order to reach it. She pulled him together, made him a whole. 

At least untill he saw the familiar signs of destruction approaching. 

Ross laid down on his bed and looked at a picture of Rachel he still hadn't found the will to remove. He blamed his lack of time for his delay in coming in therms with their separation, but he knew better than that. He knew this moment would make it real. He wanted to savour it for a bit longer, to prolong the feeling of hope. Maybe... maybe she'd be back? Maybe she'd say living without him was too hard and she would learn how to live with Melissa. Just... maybe? 

No, that's not gonna happen, he thought. Subconsciently, he knew he'd been somehow preparing himself to this moment. He'd start moving on. Or at least trying to. He couldn't hold her back, he wanted to see her happy. She deserved that, he knew it. He just badly wished it could be with him. 

Recomposing his thoughts, his mind traced back those signs of destruction. The ones that made him crazy, possessive, jealous. 

He shook his head. That's not who I am, couldn't she see that? Couldn't she see that something really wrong was happenedning to make me get so crazy? Couldn't she- 

... 

No, it wasn't her fault. Pointing a finger and claiming the blame as being someone else's was easy, but Ross wasn't about to do it again. It had all been his fault. His lack of communication, introspection, insecurity... Most of all, his fear. The blind, inconsequent fear that made no sense. That made him act like an animal, not realising that pushing her away wouldn't help in any way. 

Yes, he had to let her go. She deserved someone better. Someone who'd give her what she wants. The stability, the love, the respect she deserves. She deserved so much. 

Tossing pictures and notes into one box and clothes, books and other personal belongings into others, Ross let himself cry for his loss and the fogged propect of a life without Rachel.

* * *

"Hey Mon" Rachel was back from another long day at work. 

"Hey Rach" 

"What's with the boxes?" 

"Oh, Ross dropped those for you" 

Rachel froze for a while and then just nodded at her best friend. Monica had comforting eyes, but Rachel ignored them pretty much like she had been doing since her break up with Ross. She did not open up. She hadn't discussed anything with the others. If it wasn't for the fact Monica knew her so well and for the late night sobs that could be heard through the thin wall their shared, Monica could swear Rachel wasn't being affected at all. 

She wore a safe mask. 

Rachel simply approached the boxes and took them into her room, one by one, refusing Monica's help. 

"Hey, Phoebe and I wanna take you out tomorrow night. We're just gonna go to a bar and hang out. Is that okay?" 

Not giving it much thought, Rachel quickly nodded and excused herself into her room. 

There were so many memories quietly pilled up in those boxes Rachel thought it was unfair. It was unfair that all those things should now exist only in her mind. She couldn't imagine herself talking about them ever again. Those objects had no meaning to anyone else. They didn't say anything, and they never would. They would remain _trapped_, their true beauty hidden from the rest of the world. 

It wasn't fair.

* * *

Rachel was looking stunning as ever. It was like magic the way she could pull herself together, to look nice even after a horrible endless day. Having spent her entire day and previous night filling up boxes with Ross' things, with casual breaks for break downs and decisions reviews, she had earned herself a pair of red puffy eyes with dark shadows under them. Yet, after her two hours in the bathroom, she came out looking as if she'd always been the happiest person in the world. 

Across the room, Phoebe and Monica could clearily spot a good looking guy trying to make eye contact with Rachel since the moment they stepped into the bar. Rachel not only seemed not to care, but also looked as if she had not even noticed it. After so long in a loving relationship, she'd gotten used to not look around for interesting eyes among the crowd. 

Phoebe started, being uncertain not only about Rachel's reactions but also Monica's. 

"Hey Rach, ten o'clock" 

Rachel looked up from her glass of martini. 

"I'm sorry?" 

"Ten o'clock" 

Rachel looked at her, confused. She'd heard the guys talking in codes like that before, but she'd never quite got what it meant. 

"I know you're trying to say something, but..." she trailed off. 

Phoebe rolled her eyes. 

"In the bar, Rach, to your left!" 

Rachel looked at the bar and sure enough found some interesting blue-eyes sparkling at her. 

"Oh.." 

The guy waved in a manner she coud only describe as being cute. Extremely cute. She was still too uncertain as to how to respond to it, so decided upon doing nothing, for now. 

"He's been staring at you since the moment we stepped in. Oh, he's so cute!" 

"Yeah, I- I suppose he's not bad..." 

"Not bad?" Monica interrupted this time. "My God, he's gorgeous" 

Rachel looked at the girls and sighed. 

"That's not the point" 

Phoebe and Monica exchanged looks. 

"Sorry" Phoebe quickly said. 

"Don't worry... I'm just not ready for that yet" 

"Rachel, can I ask you something?" Monica dared to ask. 

Scared of what was about to come, yet not wanting to refuse a request from her friend, Rachel nodded. 

"Do you want to get back together with Ross?" 

Rachel looked down and then up at Monica. 

"It's not about wanting, Mon. I love your brother, you know that. But it's got too hard for me to accept the way things have become" 

"It's okay, I understand. But if that's your final answer, then I suggest you start _wanting_ to move on... It's not gonna happen over night, sweetie, you're gonna have to work on it" 

Rachel nodded. 

"You're right." 

"I'm sorry, I'm just tired of seeing you like this. You can tell us whatever you want, it's normal to feel this way. I remember how hard it was when Richard and I broke up. You two were so great with me. I want you to know that I'm here for you too" 

Rachel simply hugged Monica. 

"You are" 

After they broke their hug, which soon was embraced by Phoebe, also, Rachel sighed and got up. There was a nervous yet hopeful smile on her face. 

"Does anybody want something? I'm going to the bar" Rachel winked at them. 

"Uh, another margarita would be fine" Phoebe replied. 

Rachel looked annoyed at her. 

"Actually, Phoebs, I'm hoping I won't be coming back so soon" 

"Then why did you ask?" 

Monica and Rachel exchanged looks. 

"I'm just going to the bar to talk to that guy and that was my way of telling you that" 

"Oh, then that's not my fault now, is it?" Phoebe disserted. "Should make yourself clear next time, Green, I'm not a mind reader" Then she thought "Huh, actually, I thought I was" 

With a funny look on her face, Rachel left. Could this be a beginning of a new era? 

It was. It must be. 

Not because she could fall madly in love with this guy after the exchange of a couple of words, but because Rachel could already feel better for herself. Standing up and walking towards a stranger was like walking towards freedom. She was free of that past. She could get whatever she wanted. She was no longer trapped on the web of feelings that always had had thinking the same things she did for so many years now. She had to release herself from that. It hurt and no longer matched her perspective in life. 

A new sun was rising for Rachel.

* * *

I know this ending is sort of corny and also "bad" for R&R, but just bear with me ;) I'm basing myself in some past experiences, so I guess I know what I'm doing, lol! Unfortunately, we're all gonna have to wait and see how this turns out to be... :( I'll see you in July...! waves Bye!   
Reviews are _still_ welcome! :D 


	11. Chapter 11

**Baggage gift**  
by Tina

  
  
I'm back! I've enjoyed my time away very much, but I must admit I did miss writing... There were times I didn't have much to do and I longed for a computer! : But I had the chance to use a computer every once in a while, so I re-read this fic and gave it some thought. I wished I'd actually thought _more_ about it, but I was too busy most of the time ;)  
  
I intend to be back on full power again, however I'm still on vacation and I'm still planning on going away again. Plus, there are more stuff going on around here, but this fic is growing in me, in a way, so it's still one of my priorities ;) I hope you like this new installment and uh... keep those reviews coming, please? They make my day ;)

* * *

It was not untill that very moment Rachel completely realised how much she'd missed this. The glancing game, the well timed girlish laughs, the placing of a hand on the top of the table and the following wonderingments whether he'd pick it up or not. 

He did. 

They looked at each other and she smiled in a way she'd mastered over the years. Rachel loved flirting, only she'd forgotten how good it was like with strangers. The whole getting to know a new person was not hard for her, she was so good at it. Sure enough, the guy, soon known as Daniel, was head over heels for her by their 3rd date. 

He was a sucessful lawyer, probably much too young for the position he took at the office where he worked. But he was hard working and commited to his job, which earned him a good reputation and a steady yet steeping professional ride. He was everything Rachel could ask for in a guy. Serious yet with a fine sence of humor, honest, respectful and smart. Not to mention the good looks. The smashing pair of blue eyes were only beat by the contrast they held against his tanned skin and blonde hair. He was not too built up, but somehow Rachel could deduce that underneath his Armani suit, he would not be a disapointment. At all. 

They held hands across the table as they waited for desert. It was still early in the evening, but Daniel would have an early day. Still, nothing would get in the way of a lovely evening with Rachel. Lovely, that's how he'd describle his time with her. He was a very private person, yet somehow Rachel was able to penetrate the icy exterior. Her grace melted his neat posture and he felt comfortable around her, like there was nothing for him to prove. 

But even though things were going well, they were going on a slow pace. If Rachel had met him in any other phase of her life, she would most likely be mentally planning their wedding day already. But not this time. She'd learned that sometimes things don't work that way and just didn't want to be let down like that again. It hurt too much. 

So by their third date, they had not even kissed yet. Their caring gestures were summed up in looks, hand holding and innocent kisses on hands, cheeks and foreheads. 

"Explain to me what you're doing tomorrow again" 

"Well", he began "see, there's this plant that only grows in the dephts of the South American rain forest, right? It's very tasty, used for many economic profits, from the food industry to the beauty market. Now, what happened is that asian scientists took hold of that plant and have now registered it as an asian product. So if the south americans want to use it, they're gonna have to-" he trailed off when he noticed the look on her face and chuckled. "You asked!" 

"I know, I was just now making a mental note to myself about that!" 

The broad smile on her face made up for the embarassment he felt. 

"Well, it's a way of living...! Besides, I quite like it, actually. The whole researching process, talking to people, going to court..." 

"You're a geek, you know?" she said with a sweet voice. 

He chuckled and then looked at her, serious. 

"No one's ever said that to me in such a sweet way" 

Rachel smiled back. 

"Well, it's just your luck you turned out to be cute" 

They locked gazes and Rachel knew what was coming. She loved first kisses. The anticipation, the curiosity for the unknown... Was he going to be good at it? What if she didn't feel the thing? All the usuall thoughts raced through her mind, but slowed down as both leaned closer and softly closed their eyes. 

Rachel felt his lips meet hers. He placed them perfectly over hers, brushing softly yet powerfully. He kissed her lower lip and then both opened their mouths. Rachel could feel soft butterfly touches on the pit of her stomach, quickly intensified by his hand on her back, giving her goosebumps. 

Yet somehow... 

She pushed her thoughts aside. These things take time, getting over the past wouldn't happen over night. 

There was a loud cracking noise near by and both praticly jumped out of the kiss. Looking around, they saw a messed up waiter apologising to a snotty looking woman soaked in wine. They couldn't help but chuckle. They looked at each other and smiled. He took her hand again, but before anything else could be said or done, their waiter arrived with their deserts.

* * *

Outside apartment 20, Daniel and Rachel were making their way up. He'd insisted on taking her up and, despite her initial protest, Rachel had to admit she liked being spoiled like that. As they stood by the door they simply looked at each other. 

"Well, this is me" 

"I guess so" 

Rachel took some time to recall all of her old pick up lines, sorting out which one would be apropriated for this particular case. They were needless at the moment though, as she soon noticed he already had his hand around her waist and was getting closer. She smiled and leaned closer aswell. 

"I can only hope we won't be interrupted this time" 

Rachel chuckled. 

"This is actually not the best place if you're looking for privacy" she said as she recalled being caught many times in this very same hallway "...but let's hope" 

He chuckled and kissed her. 

It was just as soft and intense as their first kiss. But soon it grew deeper and they wrapped their arms around each other. He stroked her hair softly with one hand while the other slowly ran through her back. Hers were lightly cupping his face, her thumbs stroking his cheeks. 

Breathlessly, they parted after a good minute. He gave her one more peck and they just stood there, smiling, dazed, holding hands. 

"Hm" Rachel's voice was soft "Would you like to come in for a minute?" she smiled at his aproving expression "I can't promise you we'll have privacy there either, but..." she trailled off. 

"I would love to" 

She smiled and opened the door with one hand, the other still glued on his. 

Monica and Phoebe were having dinner at the table, while Chandler and Joey were watching t.v.. All heads quickly turned to the door. 

"See, I told you" she quickly said to Daniel. Then, outloud, she spoke again "Daniel, these are my friends. Guys, this is Daniel." 

Monica's eyes were fixated on their hands, which soon let go of each other's as Daniel shook hands with Joey and Chandler. 

"This is Joey and that's Chandler, they live across the hall" 

"Hey, what's up?" 

"Nice meeting you" 

"You too" 

"And that's Phoebe, she used to live here with Monica and that's Mon herself, my roommate" 

"Yes, those are the girls you were with that night at the bar, right?" 

"That's right" Rachel said. 

"Nice meeting you" 

His smile was still broad, he was so polite and looked so thrilled to be there, meeting her friends. Rachel was beaming with pride. 

"Would you like anything? Phoebe and I are still having dinner, it's nothing special, but it's good" 

"No, thanks, Rachel and I just had dinner" 

"We went to Le Bistr" Rachel hinted. 

"Uh, really? I've always wanted to go there, but it's just so hard getting reservations" Monica whined. 

"A friend of mine owns that place. Call me whenever you need a table, I'll be pleased to get it for you." the truthfullness on his voice only earned him more points. 

Daniel reached for her hand again and smiled. Looking around though, she sensed the nervourness on the air for the first time. He looked around and saw a familiar jacket on the back of the couch, where toys had been placed. Monica noticed the way Rachel's eyes were wandering. 

"He's putting Melissa down in my room" 

"Oh, alright" 

Having realised what this was about, Daniel tensed up a bit. Rachel hadn't told him much about Ross, but he did know they were together for three years and just recently broke up. The ex's presence is never a good thing to hear of. 

Eaves dropping the conversation with his ears glued on the thin door, Ross knew he couldn't keep hiding anymore. She knew about his precense, so it would come off as even worse if he didn't show up to meet Daniel. Her new boyfriend. 

She had a new boyfriend.. 

And from the little he could hear, he was a really nice one. Ross' eyes quickily filled up with tears. Rachel had finally met the person she deserved, someone who was good enough for her. 

He walked back to the playpen he'd recently had to move from Rachel's room to Monica's and watched Melissa sleeping untill he could come out without raising suspections. 

When he did, sure enough all heads quickly turned to him. Joey and Chandler looked back and forth around the room, as if trying to foresee what was going to happen next. 

"Hey" was all Ross could say. But even though he was breaking down inside, he voice came out cooly. 

"Hi", Daniel replied first. 

Rachel looked nervous. But seeing Ross, specially under the circunstances, brought up more than nervousness. 

"Hm, Daniel, this is Ross. Ross, this is Daniel. My, hm, my friend." 

They politely shook hands. 

"Nice meeting you" Ross beated him, saying it first. 

"Same to you" 

And suddenly a thick tension fell on the apartment. Mere seconds went by before Daniel spoke up again, but it felt like centuries. 

"Well, I should get going now, got an early day tomorrow. But it was very nice meeting all of you. Monica, I mean it, you can give me a call about those reservations" Monica smiled politely. "Rachel, tomorrow night, right?" 

"Right" her voice was a little faded and it worried him. 

"Well, goodbye you all" he walked towards the kitchen door while everyone said goodbye back. Rachel walked him to the door. 

"See ya" she smiled weakly. 

He smiled back and quickly leaned in and kissed her softly. Ross, upon watching this, looked down, a sharp and growing pain starting on his chest and taking over his entire body. The kiss was short, so soon he looked at her one last time and left the apartment. Rachel stood by the door for one more second, knowing this probably wasn't easy on Ross. 

"Goodnight everyone, I'm going to bed already" was all she said as she made her way into her room.

* * *

I'll try to have a new chapter coming later on today! :) Don't forget to review me, that'll sure get me to write quicker!! :D 


	12. Chapter 12

**Baggage gift**  
by Tina

  
  
Haha, yes, I understand how hard it is to read about R&R dating other people..! But there's nothing to worry about, you guys should know by now I'm the biggest sucker for R&R out there. I should warn you though that it might take a while for them to be back together for good. I don't know, I just believe that after 3 tense years, they should have some time apart to realise some things before they can commit forever. 

Am I giving away the gold here? Ah, nevermind :) Just on with the story...!

* * *

Ross watched as Melissa analised the sand running through her fingers intently. There were three other small children on the sandbox at the small park, but she didn't seem to even notice their presence. Ross would oftenly watch her baby girl for hours, understanding that she already had a personality of her own. She was patient and curious. She grabbed another hand full of sand and once again opened it, this time slower. The sand flow was lighter, thin lines running to the ground. 

The look on Melissa's face almost made Ross want to walk towards her and do the same. Her quiet and compenetrated satisfaction only showed through her eyes. Those which looked so much like his. Black, round and sparkling. 

Suddenly, yet as in slow motion, Ross watched as an older kid crashed his bike into the sandbox. He quickly stood up and ran to Melissa's rescue, but it was too late. The older kid fell onto the opposite side, but his bike fell over Mel. Her wails took over the atmosphere, soon followed by the other children's, though those were nothing but scared. 

Ross reached Melissa, trying to remain calm. He pushed the bike aside and analised her, looking for serious injuries. Despite her cries, she looked calmer at the sight of her father. A crow of curious parents approached. Whispers, cries and yells could not be understood in such suddenly closed space. 

A little drop of blood ran down Melissa's forehead and Ross quickly brushed it away. He looked for the source and saw a small slit above it. 

"Is she okay? Oh, my God, I'm so sorry!" 

Ross turned his head and saw a woman holding the boy who'd crashed into the sandbox. The boy sure enough was wearing a helmet and other security gadgets, therefore intact. 

"I'm not sure. I can only see this scrap on her forehead, but it could be more. She could just be scared, but I should have it checked anyway" 

"Oh, I'm so-so-so sorry. Rick here is just learning how to ride his bike, I'm sure he didn't mean it for any of this to happen" 

"I understand" 

"I have my car here, why don't I take your baby and him to the ER? It would really make me feel better about this. Again, I'm so sorry" 

Ross' mind was still racing. 

"Sure, of course"

* * *

Mel was quietly laid on Ross' arm, her thumb in her mouth. Her big brown eyes ran around the strange room madly. It made Ross' heart melt. She looked scared. A doctor had just examined her, said it was nothing but a big scare. She would, however, need to suture her forehead. So they were now waiting for a new doctor to do it so they could be discharged. 

The little boy who'd caused the accident, Rick, and his mother were in the bed across from them. Rick too had been examined and discharged. 

When Ross finally looked away from Mel, his eyes met the woman's, which had visibly been fixated on him for quite a while now. She smiled and he politely smiled back. Ross looked down at Mel again, confused as to what that smile meant. He quickly looked back at her and found that she was still looking at him. 

Finally really paying atention to her, he let his eyes wander free. First thing he noticed was the lack of a ring on her left hand, which was carefully placed on her knees, as if she actually wanted him to look at it. He let his eye continue to what was closer to the knees... her long slender legs. Her stomach looked quite flat, her clevelange showed he'd have no complains on her chest area and her hair was blonde. Her face was long, she had remarkable beautiful eyes and full lips curled up in a smile. 

Clearily an eye catcher. 

"How is she?" she spoke. 

"She's okay, it was just a scare. She's just gonna get her forehead sutured and we're out of here" 

She stood up and walked towards Ross. 

"I still feel awful...! How can I make it up to you?" 

The tone in which she said that scared Ross. He looked over at Rick, who looked no older than five. He looked completely oblivious to what was happening. Yet, Ross didn't feel like this was right. For so many reasons... 

But the sight of Rachel being kissed by another guy crept into his mind. Like a flash of a nightmare. Only it was real. 

"Ah, I don't know" he smiled back. "What do you suggest?" 

"Well... we could go for a cup of coffee after we get out of here?" 

And Ross could envision the whole day before him. It did not chear him up. He didn't want to do this simply to get back at Rachel. Sure, this woman was atractive and clearily interested on him. But it didnt seem right. He wasn't over Rachel, at all. He knew he wouldn't have a good time. He should wait a little longer. 

His smile faded. 

"You know what, I don't think today's a good day. With everything that's happened to Mel, I'm sure she just wants to go home and rest and I wanna be with her. I hope you understand" 

"Oh, sure, that's fine. I'll just... leave my number for you then? Call me" 

"Sure" 

She wrote two numbers in a piece of paper and handed it over to Ross. The name Tiffany was on the head. 

"And don't worry about us, you can go... We'll just hail a cab, we're close to home" 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yes" 

"Okay then" Tiffany's voice sounded disapointed by the second. "Rick, alright, let's go" The litte boy hopped off the bed and took her hand. "I'll talk to you later then" 

Ross just made a gesture for her and she left. 

"Daddy's just not ready yet, right Mel?" he looked down at his child as he closed his grip, with the piece of paper in it. Mel simply blinked, too busy still looking fragile and aprehensive. 

Shortly after he'd said his last words, the door opened again and a doctor entered. 

"Right, Melissa Lane Jordan?" 

"Yes, that's correct." Then he silently panicked "I mean, her, not-not me!" 

The doctor chuckled. 

"Alright" she started getting everything set up and looked over at Melissa, smiling. "So, what happened?" 

"She was playing on a sandbox and this boy crashed his bike into it" he disserts. "Nothing too bad though, she's just still scared" 

"Oh, I know" the doctor said in a baby voice. Ross smiled, she looked so experienced. "Just, can you lay her down for me?" 

"Sure" 

Ross and the doctor worked out a way Melissa would be lied down and still, quietly comforted in her father's arms, and she began to work on the suture. 

"Is she always this good?" 

Ross smiled. 

"Yes, yes... she's a pretty good baby, thank God" 

"Well, you and your wife are very lucky then. You wouldn't imagine the sort of kids I see around here" 

Ross almost inaudibly deep sighed. 

"I'm not married actually. But yes, I'm very lucky" 

Melissa quickly moved her head. 

"Oops!" 

"I got her, I got her!" Ross said. 

"This shouldn't hurt her, I gave her a local anestesia, but it does feel a little uncomfortable" 

"Oh, I know... I've had to get many stiches as a child too" 

"Really? Fussy child, were we?" 

He chuckled. 

"Sort of. My sister and I had little extravaganzas sometimes, you can say that" 

She chuckled and Ross couldn't believe how easy and comfortable that was. He raised hiw eyes and watched her expression while she worked on his child. She was so careful. So... compenetrated. Much like Melissa had looked not long ago, at the park. 

Her bone cheeks were high, her skin was light chocolate brown and her eyes green. Her hair was brown and curly, well defined. Beautiful. She was beautiful. Ross smiled and looked back at Melissa, wincing. 

"It's okay, Mel" he said as he kissed her little hand. Ross could feel the doctor's eyes on him. It made him a bit lighter. 

As she proceeded her work, their talk continued, just as natural and comfortable as before. Soon, Melissa had a bandade covering her wound and a lollipop in her mouth. She held on to her father tight, though she looked looser. 

"Alright, Melissa, you're good as new! That wasn't so bad now, was it?" the Doctor said. 

Ross smiled at Melissa and then at the Doctor. 

"Thank you" 

"Just doing my job" 

"Well, if everybody was as commited as you..." 

She just smiled in response and began to clean up after herself. Ross followed the drift and began gathering everything he'd brought. 

"Here's her discharge chart" she signed it. "You're free to go" 

"Thank you" 

"Bye Melissa!" her voice was full of tenderness. 

Ross looked down at the prospect of missing the oportunity. But he just swallowed it up and gathered his things. 

However, on the middle of his way towards the door, he turned around. 

"I know this may seem a little innapropriated and I swear I don't do this very often, but... Hm, would you like to go out with me some time?" 

His heart was pounding hard inside his chest. 

She smiled. 

"Okay"

* * *

Uhh :) This is it for today! Got plans for later on tonight, so I can't post anything else untill tomorrow! But drop me a new review (puh-lease :)) and soon enough we'll have a new installment. Possibly one with both R&R in it! :) 


	13. Chapter 13

**Baggage gift**  
by Tina

  
  
Brand new chapter, even though I didn't get as many reviews as I expected last chapter...! lol! I guess I better spice things up with R&R or I'll lose you guys, eh? I'll try! That'll make the fanfic get shorter, but that's fine...! I have plans for upcoming fics anyway! Anyway, here we go...

* * *

Rachel laid still, wide awake on the unfamiliar bed. The even breathing beside her was soothing at first, but soon it became almost agonising to her ears. Things had got too carried away on her fourth date with Daniel. But she didn't think. It felt right at the moment. Only now, doubts and consequences filled her mind. The blur was fading fast and the awareness of what had happened was beginning to show. 

For the first time, she looked around the room. It was modern, really well designed. The grey walls had black and white pictures with a great variety of subjects. Other fine object of arts filled the shelves, among with many thick books. A large and wide plasma t.v. was set in front of the bed, surrounded by many other eletronic devices. Daniel was clearily not one to think twice before spending money, Rachel thought as she turned her head on the goose feather pillow. 

He was deep asleep and she just watched him for a while. Without even realising, a single tear dropped from each of her eyes. She pulled the sheets closer to herself and sighed. She'd never imagine it could be so weird not being with Ross anymore. Being with someone else after she'd vowed him a million times he was the only one she'd ever want to be with just didn't feel right anymore. 

She turned to the other side and sighed. At moments like this, she had to admit how much she missed him. Not only her lover, but, most of all, her friend. He'd been her best friend all along. And now things were always weird when they were around each other. Life was just not the same, she didn't share everything with him anymore. She missed him so much. 

After putting on Daniel's large button up shirt and her underwear, Rachel left the room to the kitchen. She looked around for a glass and then filled it on the sink. Pacing around the living room, gazing at the amazing view of Central Park, she sipped it ocasionally. Only thirst was not the reason why. 

The fancy old fashioned clock marked two a.m.. Rachel wondered what Ross was doing at that time. It was a saturday night, maybe he'd be up watching Jurassic Park on t.v.. On the previous week, she'd seen the promo and almost called him to let him know, out of habit. 

Then a crazy idea popped into her head. She should call him! Yes, she had to talk to him. For some reason she knew he'd be up and she loved after hour phone conversations. The whispering, the lack of inhibition due the sleepy mood... Sure it was a little innapropriated given they were no longer together and she actually happened to be in another man's house, but that detail failed to occur to Rachel. Or she simply decided to ignore it. 

She needed to talk to him, to hear his voice again. 

So, smiling at the memory of a thousand other past midnight talks with him over the phone, she dialed his number and anxiously waited. 

"Hello?", the other side spoke first. 

Rachel froze. It was a woman's voice. 

"Hello? Who's that?" the voice spoke again. 

Rachel's insides crumbled. There was a woman at his apartment, answering his phone at two a.m. on a saturday night? How foolish she had been to think he'd be by himself... 

"I don't know, Ross, there's no one there" 

And after that, Rachel could hear the still and cold phone sign. 

Still. Mocking her. 

Her eyes filled with tears and she cried so loudly she feared Daniel would wake up. Only he didn't. She was merely left alone, crying by herself. Her grief, her loss. She'd never felt so lonely before. It was as if the ground beneath her had disappeared.

* * *

"Well, this is Central Perk" Ross announced as he pushed the door open with one hand, the other one holding Melissa. 

"It's charming!" Lara said with a smile on her face. 

"Well, it's home" 

"Really, you come here often?" 

"Very much. It's funny my friends are not here right now, they're always around" 

"Uh, meeting the friends after the second date, aren't we going too fast, Dr. Geller?" Lara joked and Ross chuckled. 

"I don't know, are we Dr. Connor?" 

"Ah, okay, after Jurassic Park last night I don't think there's much else I can't take!" 

Ross chuckled even more and they reached the balcon, where a platinum haired waiter was making a capuccino. 

"Hey Gunther, could you get us a cup of coffee, a small cold chocolate and two blueberry muffins and" he turned to Lara "what will you have?" 

"Another coffee and blueberry muffin sound good" 

"You heard the lady" 

As they walked towards the big orange couch, Ross was trying to understand the genuine look of satisfaction on the waiter's face. Letting it go, he set Melissa down and she kept herself standing up, messing around with the magazines and other itens scattered around the coffee table. Lara was seated close to Ross and soon enough they striked up a conversation, one very likely only to be risen in the presence of the physician and paleontologist they were. 

"Monica, let it go, I'm not gonna tell you anything!" 

The so familiar voice quickly held Ross' atention. 

"C'mon Rach, you don't just leave me a message saying you'll spend the night at your new boyfriend's and not expect me to-" 

Monica quickly trailed off when she noticed Ross' presence at the coffee house she'd just entered. Rachel's eyes quickly analised the whole scene before her, but soon enough they found retreat on a particular spot on the floor, somewhere near the foot of the table. 

"Hey Ross", Monica said after clearing her throat. 

Ross gave them a smile, though Monica judged it fake. 

"Hey", Rachel's voice was low. 

"Goodmorning" Ross looked over at Lara. "Hm, I'd like you to meet Lara. Lara, this is Monica, my sister and Rachel, my uh, my friend" 

It was like sharp steal piercing her heart. 

"Nice meeting you", Monica and Rachel said in choi. Lara nodded, lovely. "You too" 

Silence filled the air. Rachel's mood was not improving, having just put a pretty face to the voice she'd heard the night before. Meanwhile, Ross could not stop thinking about Monica's words... Rachel had spent the night with Daniel? 

It hurt. 

The one to break the silence and the icy tension was Melissa, who squealed in delight when she finally let go of the magazine she was acting like she could read and noticed the new company. 

"Wachel!!" she practicly screamed as she waved her little arms on the air. 

Rachel couldn't help but smile. Not thinking, she turned to Ross, amazed by how warm that made her feel. 

"When did she...?" she trailled off. 

Knowing what Rachel meant - when had Melissa learned how to say her name, even erroniously - Ross answered "Hm, you know, a few days after we uh.." 

"Right, right" she broke him. 

Melissa keps waving her arms, getting unpatient. Knowing what she wanted, Rachel approached her and knelt down. Melissa ran to her encounter and hugged her affectionately. Ross' heart melted, but he avoided looking at the scene. He wouldn't allow himself to be happy and hopeful about Rachel anymore. Both of them were aparently moving on, he wouldn't want to spoil that. But were they really?

* * *

Two months went by and Daniel and Lara were still present figures in their lives. With time, they started fitting into the group in any way they could. However, still feeling as outsiders, their interaction with the rest of the gang only happened ocasionally, usually at the coffee house. As for the relationships, both were developing in a normal pace. Ross and Rachel had been given the chance to talk more freely, though still not nearly close to how they used to, even when they were just friends. 

Things were just civil. 

And to prove that, to show the others and themselves that things were progressing, they had set up a double date that saturday night. Going through outfits on her closet, however, Rachel couldn't remember those reasons. Perhaps because they were shallow or a lie. Perhaps both. 

She had to look stunning. She had to turn heads around. She had to look happy. 

A little far from there, in Ross' apartment, similiar thoughts filled his head. 

He had to look decent. He had to act smart, to impress. He had to look happy. 

Entering the large room with her arm safely around Daniel's, Rachel let her eyes run freely looking for the second couple, while Daniel asked about their whereabouts. Spotting them, Rachel frowned. She should had gone with the pale blue dress. What was she thinking? Why black? Why did she have to pick the black Prada? Now Lara would steal focus! Lara and her beautiful pale green top which beautifully brought up her eyes. 

"Hi, sorry we're late, Miss Fashion Police here had to change her outfit six times!" 

"Excuse me!" there was resentment on her voice "It was just four, and we wouldn't have to if you hadn't been making jokes about them!" 

"Exactly, jokes! Come on, Rachel, you know you looked beautiful in all of them!" 

The sweetness on his voice reminded Ross of the way _he_ used to talk to her. Lara wasn't the kind of girl into the lovey dovey deal, but Rachel needed to be spoiled sometimes. And Ross missed spoiling her, babying her. Picking on her and shutting her up with sweet words and kisses. Much like Daniel was doing now. 

Sighing softly, just to himself, he had to admit he was still jealous. 

But the evening turned out to be quite lovely after all, given the expectations. Despite Rachel's boredom ocasionally due some conversations she didn't seem too interested in joining, everyone got along well. Rachel even traded fashion tips with Lara for exercise advices, while Ross and Daniel entertained themselves with topics Rachel had previously labeled as boring. 

Just _lovely_. 

Untill, of course, things happened. 

_Beep-beep!_

"Oh, shoot!" Lara looked down at her beeper. "I'll be right back" 

She excused herself from the table, grabbing her cellphone. The rest of them watched her leave. While still following Lara with his eyes, however, Daniel took notice of something else. 

"Harry!" 

Rachel looked at him, confused. "What?" 

"Harry, an old friend! See that brown haired guy, a little bald, with a beard in that table with the other two men?" upon Rachel's nod, he went on "That man went to law school with me, we were such good friends. God!" he sighed, aparently delighted. "Would you mind if I go and say hello?" 

"Oh, no, of course not." 

Daniel smiled at her, showing all the teeth she could possibly see from where she was standing. He kissed her forehead and excused himself. 

Ross and Rachel looked at each other and didn't know what to say. Before they could, however, Lara rejoined them. 

"I'm so-so-so sorry, but I'm gonna have to cut the evening short. One of my patients is not feeling well and, well, you gotta do what you gotta do" 

"Hey, do you want a ride or anything?" Ross offered. 

"Ross, you don't have a car, we took a cab" Lara smiled 

"Just trying to be nice!" 

Lara chuckled and said goodbyes, kissing Ross on the cheek. 

Again, Ross and Rachel stood there alone. Rachel looked over at the guys' table and saw Daniel happily seated. 

"Hm, I guess I should get going anyway. I mean, you two probably will want to be together, I don't wanna be a third wheel" 

Rachel quickly turned her gaze to Ross. 

"What?" her heart skipped a beat as she saw him sitting across from her, as if this was a date. _Their_ date. "Oh no, Ross, stay. Daniel will probably be there for a while and I sort of... well, I sort of want to talk to you." he looked curious "Nothing in particular, I just..." she got the guts to say it "I miss you, I miss this" he half smiled and she smiled back. "So, please?" 

"Sure" 

She'd missed that smile so much. 

And from then on, their evening wasn't really lovely anymore. 

It was so much more than that.

* * *

Okay, fine, I wasn't planning on getting this so far ahead like this, but... :) I kind of liked it!! So drop me a review this time, please :) I did it specially to you! Sure we'll still have bumpy stuff before we get the real thing we're looking for, but you must admit we're warming up, eh? :) Well, alright, I'll see you guys soon!! 


	14. Chapter 14

**Baggage gift**  
by Tina

* * *

I'm not exactly in a writing mood right now, but I wanna finish this fic soon... Don't wanna waste time I can be up here writing doing other things! However, I am certainly gonna hear a lot from my mom once she gets home and finds out I spent my morning/afternoon off writing instead of cleaning up my room. My God, that place sure looks like a jungle right now! 

But on with the story ;) I got plans of either finishing _Can't fight the night_ or starting a brand new story (based after the last episode) right after this is done. What do you think I should do? Drop me a comment and let me know which you prefer!

* * *

It was stronger than him, Ross couldn't help it. All the effort, the hard work he had put on getting over Rachel could almost be heard running softly down the nearest drain. Having Rachel, so beautiful and delicate, set across the table from him, laughing and smiling was like a spell. And so, everytime she giggled, he felt an urge to keep on making jokes, keep on gracing the world with that magical gift that only enticed him more. It was a vicious cycle... 

Not mere five minutes had passed since Lara had left, yet they were already wrapped in their own "Ross and Rachel bubble". That atmosphere that was only theirs, filled with the same old feelings. This time, however, only the good ones were allowed in. The doubts, fears and resentment were left behind. It was home. 

They'd missed this. 

"How's Ben?" Rachel managed to say between her latest giggles. 

"Fine, he's fine." Ross couldn't help but frown a little at the sound of his son's name. Ben had had a hard time copying with his and Rachel's separation. Ross always feared taking away someone as important as Rachel was to him, only after a while he'd stopped imagining it would ever happen. 

"I miss him", Ross spotted a dark cloud above Rachel's head. 

"He misses you a lot too" his expression became more serious "He didn't take our break up easily, specially with Melissa and all" 

Rachel felt even lower. Over the last few months, she'd never stopped to think of the so many other things going on. Things she wouldn't know because she wasn't Ross' anymore... not his girlfriend or even his friend, it seemed. 

If she'd known, maybe she could've... helped? Could she? Or maybe was stepping aside for better? She'd been so busy with her own things... But still, if only she'd known. Poor Ben. 

"I guess this wasn't easy on anyone, huh?" 

Ross shook his head, miserable. Rachel had to lower her gaze to avoid watching it. But she shook it off. She wouldn't bring herself down for this anymore. Just a few minutes ago, things were fine and she wanted that again. So, shooshing the intruder feelings from the back of her mind, out of their bubble, she looked up again. 

"Can I see him some other day?" Ross smiled at the idea "You should bring Melissa too and we could all just hang out" 

But soon enough Ross' expression became thorn "Would it be okay with, hm, with Daniel?" 

"Would it be okay with Lara?" she shot it back, raising an eyebrow. She chuckled and continued "You of all people know he wouldn't stop me from doing this, Ross" 

"Right" he chuckled back. 

They kept smiling at each other. 

"So it's a date" and as soon as the last word left her mouth, she mentally kicked herself for saying it. Nevertheless, he smiled. 

"It's a date" 

Rachel felt butterflies on her stomach. Ross was the only man ever capable of having that effect on her with simple words or looks. 

He watched as she lowered her face in the most adorable way, like she always did when she was shy. Golden locks of hair fell from behind her shoulders, covering her eyes. She quickly brushed them away and caught Ross' eyes on her. The thing about Ross was that she knew, she felt that her looks were not the main atraction he held for her. Sure she knew he thought she was beautiful, he would say it all the time. But his eyes were always full of so much more. It was the way she acted, the way she felt about things. How she moved, how she spoke... and _what_ she spoke. Even though she wasn't an intellectual like.. Lara. 

And the feeling was mutual.

* * *

Ross and Rachel were walking around Central Park. A few feet ahead, Ben was kicking a soccer ball back and forth, a broad smile on his face. Melissa was walking by herself between Ross and Rachel, holding their hands. For the eyes of strangers, they looked nothing but a perfect happy family enjoying the sunny sunday at the park. If only life was that simple for them.. 

"Mommy-" Ben approached them, but quickly frowned at the look on Ross' face "Rachel, look, did you see that one?" 

Annoyed by what had just happened, Rachel contained herself simply nodding. It hurt knowing Ben wasn't allowed to call her mommy anymore. She'd taken care of him for so long now. Cutting the strings was sure painful. 

Sensing the whole thing, Ben quietly went back to kicking his ball. 

"How's your work going?" Ross tried lightening things up. 

"Good, very good." she traced her mind for post break up events. Nothing too relevant. "You?" 

"Fine" 

Something she'd been meaning to ask him came up. 

"Hm, you know, the night we uh, we broke up.. You said you were meeting your boss for something, said you were hopeful. Anything happened there?" 

"Oh, right!" Ross almost kicked himself for forgetting it. "I got promoted!" 

Rachel's eyes widened up with pride. 

"Really?" 

"Yes, it's great...! Still, you know, nothing you'd find interesting, but..." he trailed off, smiling. 

She shot him a playful look, laughing. 

"Gotcha!" he chuckled. "But hey, that's great, I'm happy for you" 

He looked at her and saw her looking back, smiling genuinely. 

"Thank you" 

Their gazes remained locked, both simply unable to look away. Rachel's blue eyes were welcoming and his chocolate brown ones just so soothing. It was Melissa who made them look away, breaking their moment. She stopped walking and forcefully made Ross let go of her hand so she could rub her eyes. 

"She looks tired", Rachel commented. 

Ross picked her up. 

"Home, daddy, home" she kept saying, getting crabbier by the moment. 

Taking notice to the fact of how weird yet not so bad it was to have Melissa calling Ross "daddy", Rachel failed to hear the call of her name. It was the look on Ross' face that brought her back. 

"Rachel?", it sounded like it was the millionth time that name was being called. 

She turned around and faced an older woman. She looked old enough to be Rachel's mother, though you had to look really closely to say such thing. She looked young for her age, had short blonde hair and wore colorful, yet fashionable, clothes. 

"Emily, hi" 

The woman gave Rachel a brief hug. Things were formal, but Ross could see that despite the looks, this Emily person cared about Rachel. He couldn't, however, figure out who she was. She turned her gaze over to Ross and Melissa, spotting Ben right after. Dissatisfaction was clear. Pointing the tip of her nose slightly up, she turned to Rachel again. 

"Where's Daniel, my dear?" 

Ahh, the mother, Ross concluded. 

"He's at home, got a lot of work to do", Rachel half lied. "This is my friend Ross and his kids Melissa and Ben" 

"Nice meeting you" Emily said with nothing but a polite nod. Not too satisfied himself, Ross simply nodded back. 

"I'll call him later about this dinner at our place later on this week. We'd be delighted if you'd come again" 

"I'll see what I can do" 

Quickly saying their goodbyes, Emily left without even a further glance at Ross. 

"Sorry about that", Rachel said after a long sigh. "She's nice to me now, but sure is overprotective with her son" 

"Ah, but you have a way with the mothers, don't you?" 

"I guess I do" 

Rachel shifted her eyes to Melissa and felt bad that she had forgotten about her condition. 

"Alright, ready to get the hell outta here?" she said. Melissa nodded excited and Rachel chuckled. 

"Oh, Rachel, you could come and see my new Pokemon card collection!" 

"I would love to, Ben!" 

Grinning from ear to ear, they made their way to Ross' apartment.

* * *

Folowing his sister's steps, Ben had just fallen asleep to a brief afternoon nap. Being so tired from running and playing at the park, after a good snack and hot shower it didn't take him too long to surrender. Ross and Rachel closed the door to the kids' room, like they'd done so many times on the past. This felt just like that. 

Rachel sat down on the couch, making herself at home. This still felt so much like her own home. 

"Do you want something to drink?" 

"Do you have some diet coke?" 

Ross smiled. Rachel always drank that and so he always bought it at the supermarket. After the break up, he still kept on doing it. Out of habit or simply to keep something still the same. Or just so sometimes he'd drink it himself and remember the taste of her kisses. 

He put it in a long glass with a lot of ice, just like she liked it. 

"Here we go" 

"Thanks" she took it and watched him sitting down next to her. Sipping it, she asked "Aren't you gonna have anything?" 

"No, I'm still full of Melissa's milk. I don't know why I always make so much. She never drinks it all and I have to have the rest" 

"Admit it, you like that vanilla thing you put in it!" Rachel giggled. 

Ross laughed. 

"Well, it's not bad" 

Rachel's laughter died out as she kept drinking her coke. Her eyes were busy looking around now, noticing things that were different. 

"Is that a dart board?" 

"Oh yeah. I got it a few months ago..! You know, it was something to do after the kids were down. Much like now" 

"Am I getting in the way of the three o'clock dart throwing session then?" Rachel joked. 

"Nah, as it turns out I'm not really good at it, the walls were paying for it! So I had it fixed and just leave it there... It's a fine piece of decoration, don't you think?" 

Rachel laughed. 

"Yes, very much" 

This was so easy... 

"A bigger t.v., more eletronic things... my God, Geller, you really got lonely without me, didn't you?" 

Ross chuckled. In any other ocasion, this would only bring him more down. But not around Rachel, not right now. 

"What, and you didn't?" 

Rachel's expression turned into a caring, warm one. She sipped her coke one more time and set it on the table ahead. 

"Sure I did. You know who made a lot of money out of this though?" Ross shook his head "Macy's!" Ross chuckled and Rachel smiled. "I'm thinking about renting one side of Monica's wardrobe from now on" 

"I've missed this. This is just so right" Ross said it without controlling his words. 

"I know" Rachel said truthfully. She really did. 

And their gazes were locked once again. The smiles were replaced by serious looks. Their breathing was beginning to sound uneven, due their hearts racing madly. How had they come to this again? It was like a magnet. They couldn't pull away, it seemed humanly impossible this time. 

Rachel simply looked away from his eyes to his lips. She longed to kiss him again... Being kissed by Ross was not like kissing any other guy. This was, oh, so much different. She softly just closed her eyes and waited for it to happen. 

Ross sent his promises to get over Rachel to hell by then. He had been given another chance and he was not about to waste it this time. Also, even if it didn't work out and she turned him down again, it would still be worth it. In moments like this, it seemed like anything would be worth it if he got to kiss her one more time. 

And in a way... it _was_. 

So he leaned in closer and brushed his lips against hers. Upon Rachel opening her mouth for him, Ross was able to taste her kiss again the way it was meant to.

* * *

Awful place for me to leave you hanging, eh? I know :) But we'll see...! lol! Reviews are still very much welcome ;) 


	15. Chapter 15

**Baggage gift**  
by Tina

* * *

Not wasting any more time with chit-chatting, here we go :)

* * *

Ross let his arms gently embrace her body, his palms tenderly stroking her perfect back. A few seconds later he could feel her smooth hands on the back of his head, on his neck and on his cheek. She pulled him closer passionately, still, however, mantaining the slow pace of their kiss. They'd shared kisses like this many times before. All of them memorable ones, in moments of deep realisation. When they were completely aware of just how much they loved each other. And there was no other way of showing it but through a kiss like that. 

They were in a trance, reason failed to rule in their minds. It was all about the feelings. The sensations that overtook their bodies, the blur that had fell upon them. Single random soothing thoughts popping in every once in a while. 

Rachel remembered so many other kisses... Only no one seemed to compare to this one. The night he'd proposed to her, the genuine look of happiness on his face when she said yes. Ross, Ross, Ross... Visions of him filled her mind like a desease. She was lovesick after all, wasn't she? She felt as if she could never, ever, get enough of him. And there she was, kissing him. Eagerly, she hugged him around the neck and sunk even deeper to that kiss. 

He tightened his grasp around her. She was kissing him back so good. Confident and happy his feelings were truly mutual - no one could kiss like that and not mean it! - he lifted one of his hands to run through her hair. He wondered why they even bothered seeing other people when they just knew _this_ was the only way it could possibly be like. 

And that's when it occured to him. What the hell were they doing? They were nothing but _cheating_ on Lara and Daniel. Ross wasn't that kind of guy, he knew it. For as much as he loved Rachel, he had to end this now. Do it the proper way or simply do nothing at all. Sure the second option was now flying off the window, but a much bigger damage could be avoided. 

Besides, this was not the best way of showing Rachel herself that she could trust him if they were to get back together. No, they had to talk first. 

Relutanctly, he broke their kiss. 

"I'm sorry" he quickly said. 

Rachel softly opened her eyes and still hadn't quite snapped out of it. 

"Hmm?" her voice was soft as she touched her botton lip. "What?" 

"We're seeing other people, Rachel, this isn't right" 

"You just said it was" her voice was still soft, now full of disapointment. 

"Look, I..." his mind raced, looking for a good way of saying what he had in mind "What does this mean? Do you wanna get back together or..." he trailed off and just watched her. She looked lost. 

"I don't know, I just..." she trailed off aswell. 

They just sat there next to each other without knowing what to say. Rachel looked down at her shoes and sighed. She had absolutely no idea what to do. Was she willing to go back to life with Ross, a life she'd once rejected because it was too hard for her? Had she got over the things that had separated them in the first place? Or would she settle for Daniel, a great guy she truly cared about? 

Sure she was aware she didn't feel for Daniel half of what she felt for Ross... But she did like him and she knew she'd also have a wonderful life with him, so far free of doubts and pain. 

And Ross couldn't help but think what would be better not only for him, but also for her. He did love Rachel more then any other woman in the world, but he knew he had the power no one else had to hurt her so much. He had found someone good for him now and so had Rachel. Sure it wasn't the same, nothing could ever come near what they had. But maybe there is a time when enough is enough. 

He sighed. 

Letting her go was harder than anything else he'd ever had to do in his life. 

"Rachel, if you... if you really can't accept all the changes that have happened along the way with me... Ben, Melissa, or, hm, our past..." he looked up at her and their eyes met "...then I think maybe this is it, for good. We should just move on and" he shrugged "do the right thing". 

She looked down and then quickly up at him again. 

"So what's it gonna be?" he asked. 

The room was silent for a few seconds. 

"I don't know" 

Ross sighed and stood up, walking around a bit. She looked down and also sighed. At that moment, Rachel's cell rang, startling her. She opened it and saw Daniel's name flashing on the screen. She looked down and answered it. 

"Hello?" 

"Hey, sweetie, where are you?" 

Rachel felt low. She'd messed things up too much already, now she had to be true. Besides, his mother had seen her with Ross. Maybe that was why he'd called her. 

"I'm at Ross'" 

There was a long silence. 

"Daniel?" 

"Could you come over later so we could talk?" 

Rachel bit her lower lip. 

"Okay" 

"I'll see you later then" 

"Bye" Rachel said, not even a second before he hung up. She doubted he even got to hear it. 

She flipped her cellphone closed and looked at Ross, who had his back turned to her. He was looking out the window, quiet. She was still confused, she didn't know what decision to make. She knew leaving Ross hanging would be wrong, this was aparently a decision they should make together, it was _their_ relationship. But she couldn't, she had to be alone in order to get a little piece of sanity back. Only Daniel's phone call reminded her she wouldn't have that time to herself. There were too many people involved. 

"I'm gonna go" Ross simply turned around and looked at her blankly. Rachel's eyes filled up with some tears, but she quickly brushed them away and prayed there were no more of them on the way. She looked down and walked to the door. "I- I'll talk to you later, Ross" she was hopeful that would at least change his expression to a better one, but it didn't. 

So she looked down and left his apartment. The minute she stepped out, Ross let his head hang and massaged his temples. 

"You're doing the right thing, Ross" he kept repeating, trying to convince himself.

* * *

Rachel sighed as she stared at the door to Daniel's duplex. After two more seconds, she rang the door bell and he quickly opened the door, as if he'd been on the edge of his seat waiting for her. 

"Hey" Rachel said simply. 

He looked serious, but not exactly angry. 

"Hi" he pushed the door open and she entered, throwing her bag on the nearest couch. 

"What, uh, what did you do today?" Rachel noticed he was suspetious and felt ashamed. 

"I went to the park with Ross and his children" she said, honestly, sitting down on the couch. 

Daniel kept staring at her, a little surprise with her honesty. He sat down across from her, softening it up. If she was being so honest, then maybe it was because there was nothing to hide. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" 

Rachel sighed. 

"I don't ask _you_ to tell me everytime you're meeting a friend" Rachel was surprised with her own reply. She knew she was being unfair. Daniel frowned and looked upset. 

"No, Rachel, not your friend! Your ex-boyfriend, your ex-fiancé! You know, the man you'd promised to marry, that's who!" 

Rachel looked down and he sighed. 

"Look, I'm not gonna be mad at you because of that. But I just... I've just been thinking Rachel and I want us to talk about this. We've never really talked about these things and it scares me. I wanna know what you feel about this, it was like three and a half years of your life after all! I wanna know if I have a reason for being jealous or if I can really trust you. I wanna know if you're over this" 

Rachel brushed tears from her eyes. 

"Well, so do I!" she quickly got up and paced around. Daniel followed her with his eyes, confused. 

"What?" 

"I don't know, Daniel, I don't know! I don't know what I feel about this, alright??" 

Daniel kept looking at her, taken aback. 

"Do you... do you still love him?" 

Rachel paused and looked at Daniel. She looked down and then back at him. His heart broke at the sight of her. He'd never seen anyone look so sad. 

"Truthfully? Yes" 

Daniel didn't know what to say. 

"Do you wanna... _be_ with him, again?" 

She shrugged her shoulders miserably. 

"I don't know" 

Daniel looked down and a long silence followed. 

"Rachel, I... I don't wanna be a rebound thing, your consolation price. I'm afraid you're gonna have to make up your mind" Rachel nodded, she knew she had to. "Do you even... like me?" 

Rachel looked at him and brushed her tears away. She sat down next to him and took his hands. 

"God, yes, Daniel, of course I do. I like you very much, I think you're great. You give me all the stability I need, you're so caring and such a good friend..." Daniel smiled at her and she smiled back. "I'm so sorry for putting you through this" 

"It's okay, Rach, I guess..." he sighed. "So... now what?" 

She kept looking at him and looked lost again.

* * *

Ohhhh, the fic is coming to an end soon... This is so sad, I've grown to really like it! Anyway... you guys are great for leaving me reviews, they make my day! I've laughed hard with some of them (Amelia, I hope you're not still holding your breath! lol!) and even incorporated some ideas into the fic! I've also decided I'm gonna finish _Can't fight the night_ after this is all done! ;) Then I'll go back to my usual writing style (one huge fanfic only instead of many small chapters, script style) in a fic about R&R after the finale!   
Anyway, hmm... drop me a new review, please? angel face lol! See ya soon!! 


	16. Chapter 16

**Baggage gift**  
by Tina

* * *

Again, I'll save the small talk to the end ;) Here we go...

* * *

As usual, Rachel woke up at 6:30 that friday morning. She rolled around her bed and set her alarm clock on snooze mode so she could lie awake for a few more minutes. She allowed her mind to run free. However, her thoughts always reached the same matter after all... 

It'd been four days since she'd last seen Ross or Daniel. She was giving herself some time off to think, but so far things didn't seem any less complicated. She still had no idea what the best thing to do was. If anything, she was even more confused. 

After ten minutes of the same old questions left unanswered, she finally got up at the second wake up call. 

When she exited her bedroom to wash her face, she spotted something she didn't quite expect. Monica was already up, only not to go to her usual morning jog. She was holding Melissa while trying to feed her something. The baby, however, looked reluctant and sleepy. 

"Hey", Rachel said. "When did she get here?" 

"Ross dropped her over last night, he had to go on a quick last minute business trip.. But he'll be back to pick her up at night" 

Rachel smiled as Melissa adoringly curled up the sides of he lips, looking straight back at her. 

"Hi Mel!" 

"Wachel!" Melissa held her arms up. 

"She won't eat! Help me, Rachel!" 

Rachel picked Melissa up and kissed the top of her head. 

"Are you giving Aunt Monica a hard time?" Melissa just giggled. Rachel got a spoon full of Melissa's breakfast and tried to feed her. Surprisingly, the little girl opened her mouth and took it all in. 

Rachel smiled even more and something occured to her. 

"Hm, Mon... Can I watch her today?" 

Monica smiled, knowing what this was about. 

"Of course. How about work though?" 

"I'll call in sick." 

"Okay" Monca sighed. "Guess I'm free to go running now then?" 

"You are" Rachel smiled, sitting down on a chair and feeding Melissa some more.

* * *

Melissa was having a blast at the half full bath tub. Rachel was sitting down on the floor next to her, her chin carefully rested on the edge. She'd been simply watching the baby for almost half an hour as she played with a rubber duck and other toys Rachel had found around the house. It was incredible how much energy she still had. It was good to watch. 

After one more minute, Rachel thought it was time to end Melissa's fun, it didn't seem too healthy. The baby didn't protest for long and gladly let Rachel wrap her in a towel. 

She couldn't help but smile when Melissa sneezed, it was too adorable. 

"Please don't come down with a flu", Rachel told her on their way to her bedroom. "Your daddy would kill me!" 

Melissa looked up at her and disserted, arranging herself in Rachel's arms. Rachel almost panicked, afraid she'd end up dropping Melissa. But the baby held on tight and showed Rachel what she was doing. She hugged Rachel. 

Her heart melted. 

Having watched Ben grow up being such an important figure in his life, Rachel knew there was nothing that compared to a child's meaningful hug. Melissa had initiated, she wanted it. And it was a special kind of hug. Rachel lost her breath and words. She just stood in the middle of her room, letting Melissa hug her. Gently, she placed a hand on her tiny back and leaned her head foward, resting her face on the baby's right shoulder. 

A long time went by like this. Rachel knew Melissa must've been tired, she should be blinking each time slower. But she didn't want that moment to end. 

Before Melissa could fall alseep for good, though, Rachel broke their moment to get her settled for a nap. She carefully put a diaper on her and a comfortable shirt. Put on some perfume and brushed her hair, all the while paying atention to Melissa's expression. 

Her eyelids were falling quickly and she yawned ocasionally, provoking Rachel in a new way. As soon as she was done, Rachel couldn't contain herself any longer. She picked Melissa up and rocked her to sleep, pacing around the room humming the few baby songs she knew. Her chin would softly brush against Mel's hair and the scent that emerged from it went straight up Rachel's nose. The tiny body quickly loosed it up, becoming more and more vulnerable, pressed up harder against Rachel's as Melissa lost hold of her spine. 

She was noticeably asleep, her breathing louder yet even more comforting. But Rachel couldn't let go. 

It was another good five minutes before Rachel would finally lay Melissa down and lie awake next to her, watching her peaceful slumber. 

She had to admit Ross made beautiful children. One day, maybe, it would be her time to create life with him. To make another little miracle, like the one before her. But as for now, she could only hope.

* * *

Monica also had that whole day off. At night, she and Rachel were set in front of the t.v., though not exactly paying atention to it. Melissa was in Rachel's lap, facing her. Her chubby hands kept reaching for Rachel as she played with the little girl, who'd giggle non-stop. Monica couldn't stop staring at them, admiring the beautiful scene. Truly _beautiful_. 

Rachel's mind retraced all the things she'd thought about that afternoon while watching Mel sleep. They still seemed right, all her conclusions were still valid. She smiled wider, satisfied with everything. 

Despite all the pain and suffering, she could see how much she'd needed the last few months. She had to be alone to figure some things out, to be sure about her life. To achieve things. And now more than ever, she could be true to herself. She knew both sides. She knew life with and without Ross. The before and after. And the only way she'd be really happy. 

No matter what, Ross would always be the one in her mind and in her heart. He's always be the one to take her breath away and make her knees go weak. He was the only one she wanted to turn to when looking for a friendly shoulder, or to love her after a hard day. His face was the last thing she wanted to see at night, and the first when she woke up. 

Those thoughts were corny, but so true. 

Acceptance is part of what being a real couple is about. And she knew she was now ready to take anything. Ross was a great guy and would never do anything to intentionally hurt her. So she could be certain that being with him was not only what she wanted, but also the best choice. She could have a brand new start with any good guy, but none of them could give her the garantee that Ross gave her now. 

After so much time of insecurity due their first anniversary, Rachel had released herself from that awful feeling. She knew him. She knew him too well... And she wanted him. It had to be him now. 

Tracing back lost feelings, she thought maybe that was one of the things that made her briefly let go of Ross. She knew once they were married she'd never have the chance to experience being with anyone else. And she knew exactly how things would be like with him. Her knowledge on him made their relationship predictible at times. 

Only what she didn't know back then was that this was all she wanted. Being with Daniel showed her that yes, it's fun meeting new people and being with someone new. But it could never compare to being with your true love. Only she had to experience it one more time to get to those conclusions. So, in a way, being away from Ross was good not only for her, but for their relationship. 

Now all she had to do was talk to him. She wondered if she'd be able to explain to him everything she'd thought and felt, afraid maybe he wouldn't understand some of those things. Depending on the way she said them, they'd come off the wrong way and simply hurt him even more. But she hard to try and make him understand everything. He had to know everything that went on to understand just how much she loved him. And just how sure she was that they were going to be okay. 

He had to. 

Rachel sighed as Melissa gave up on their game and rested her head on Rachel's chest. Rachel wrapped her arms around the baby and closed her eyes, thinking of how life would be like if things worked out. 

Would Melissa walk down the aisle by herself throwing petals on the way or should maybe Ben push her on a stroller? 

"Hey" 

Rachel quickly opened her eyes, startling. She spotted Ross looking straight at her and Melissa and was filled with nervousness. 

"Daddy!" Melissa squealed and waved her arms up. 

Ross approached and took Melissa on his arms. Rachel just watched as they hugged and Ross kissed the baby's hair, closing his eyes shortly, cherishing that moment. A funny sensation filled her belly. 

"Were you good to Aunt Monica?" Ross questioned his daughter. 

"Wachel!" Melissa said, indignant. 

Ross looked at Monica, confused. 

"Rachel watched her the whole day" Monica simply said, smiling. 

Ross looked at Rachel. She was smiling and he quickly smiled back, surprised. 

"Really?" she nodded. "Hm, how was she?" 

"Amazing" 

Melissa looked at Rachel and smiled broadly. She stretched her arms on her way again, and Ross let Rachel take her back, a look of amuzement clear on his face. 

"We ate, took a nap, read a story, played with dinosaurs..." Ross chuckled "Didn't we, Mel?" 

The little girl nodded, letting her head fall against Rachel again. Ross simply watched, warm hearted, for a long time. 

Rachel raised her gaze and her eyes met his. She so badly wanted to take him out to the balcony and tell him everyting she had in mind. But no, today was not the day. She was glad she had already made up her mind and had such a good day with his daughter. One step at a time, she shouldn't rush into this, as much as she wanted. 

So she placed a kiss on Mel's forehead and handed her over to Ross. 

"Go on, Mel, your father must be tired" Melissa looked a little reluctant, but was still glad to be with her father. "We'll see each other some other time and we can play some more, okay?" 

Ross smiled. 

"I promise, Melissa" he looked up at Rachel again "We're still gonna bother Aunt Rachel a lot" 

"I can't wait" she replied with a wide smile on her face. 

Monica watched their interaction with satisfaction. Not long after, they said their goodbyes and Ross left with Melissa. 

"Hm, what was that?" Monica asked. 

Rachel smiled at her. 

"I'm breaking up with Daniel" 

"Really?" Monica smiled. 

Rachel sat down next to her friend. 

"Listen... I'm sorry for keeping so much for myself these past few years. Thing is, I was too confused myself. And yes, I realise maybe you could've helped me figure some things out, but I guess I just felt like I had to be the one to do it." Monica nodded, understanding. "And now I know what I want, I know what I should do..." she kept looking at Monica "But I need to talk to someone first. I need to get these things out of my head and-" 

Monica cut her "I know", her voice so full of understanding. Rachel smiled. "I'm all ears"

* * *

Hmmmm... yeah :) Not much to say except I'm sorry for how "long" it took me to post this. Been busy with other stuff and things are kinda crazy here in my house now (my whole family is here! Mind you, usually it's just me and my brother!). Anyway, reviews are still very much welcome! :) I'm so gonna miss this fic! :( 


	17. Chapter 17

**Baggage gift**  
by Tina

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Aw, our last chapter! I'm gonna miss this so much...! I was intending to make this longer, but the way I've built up the story pushes me into ending it now in order to keep it closer to the classic story telling style. And I have to keep on making myself follow these rules at least for now or my screenwriting teacher will fail me! :P I know that doesn't necessarily apply _here_, but this is my way of practicing ;) 

Anyway, wanna thank you all for being so great and reading the story, reviewing me and stuff :) I'm glad there's people out there reading my fics! So yes, this is also for my own good, for my improvement. But you guys help me out even more, reviewing! And besides, it's nice to see your time was not wasted! So... thank you all! :) I'll see you soon (hopefully!) in another fic. Most likely, _Can't fight the night_.

* * *

So many times she'd stood by that door before. Yet, not one of them compared to that particular moment. She'd never felt so nervous, yet anxious. Hopeful yet... so scared. She could hardly breath. Her heart was feeling funny, pounding madly. Her stomach felt as if it was rising closer to her mouth, she could almost swear it coming up her esofogus. Her palms were sweaty... 

"Calm down, Rachel" she whispered to herself. 

After a long and deep sigh, she finally rose her shaky hand and knocked on the door. Ross opened the it, looking so _handsome_... 

"Hi", he said, softly. 

Rachel felt a lot more confident and smiled. 

"Can I come in?" 

He opened the door wider and Rachel stepped in. The moment she looked around, though, she froze. Lara was standing near the couch, looking right at her. Her heart broke... She'd just left Daniel's and, despite all the nice things he had said to her, she knew she'd hurt him bad. She hated this part, she didn't want to hurt anyone. Specially people she knew that were so nice. They were not doing anything wrong, they were simply seeking for love. Only whether she wanted it or not, someone was about to be hurt again. 

And for the looks of it, maybe this time it was her, Rachel, who'd be rejected. The smile on Lara's face was not a good sign, she realised. 

But then, Lara sighed. 

"I was just on my way out" she picked up her purse and walked to the door. "Good luck" she said meaningfully. 

Rachel just watched, confused, as Ross followed her and they hugged. He whispered something in her ear and they pulled away. She smiled and kissed his cheek, whispering something back. With genuine yet sad smiles on their faces, she left. 

Then, Ross turned around and faced Rachel. The look he had on was one of those that could send chills up her spine. 

"We broke up", he simply said. 

Rachel couldn't help but smile. 

"I broke up with Daniel too.." 

Ross smiled back. 

They stared at each other for a long time, just longing for the next action. Not being able to hold it any longer, Ross walked up to her and they kissed. 

Free of doubts, free of fears, insecurity or heavy conscience. 

This was right, they were doing nothing wrong. There were no longer lying to anyone. In fact, for the first time in a while they were just being true. Not only to the rest of the world, but to their feelings, to themselves. 

Only Rachel still had to tell him. There was so much she had to tell him... 

Dazed, trying to recompose herself after another amazing kiss of his, she opened her eyes and allowed her arms to hold his torso for a bit longer. 

With a lighter voice, she started "Hmm, we need to talk" 

He stroked her hair and nodded, taking her hand and bringing her to the couch. 

They had a lot to talk about indeed...

* * *

The room was quiet, but nothing had to be said. Though it was silent, peaceful and Rachel's body ached all over, she wouldn't allow her eyelids to be shut for too long. It was like a spell had fallen upon them. Thirty four hours without sleep and she wouldn't give in. 

She looked up at Ross and they smiled at each other. He placed a soft kiss on her forehead and looked back at the bun on his arms. The beautiful baby was fast asleep, wrapped so carefully in pink and white blankets. Rachel followed his sight and smiled wider. Their baby girl was just beautiful. At a new cute noise, their atention quickly shifted to the baby on her arms. Their baby boy. 

They chuckled as he opened his eyes and looked at his parents. He looked so much like Ross, Rachel thought. The same chocolate brown eyes, so round and full of glow. But he also had some things from her, she had to admit it. 

Ross' hand reached for her left one and he kissed it softly. 

"They're amazing", he whispered. 

"They really are", she looked up at him. 

"We're so lucky" 

She smiled even more. 

"We really are" 

He kept playing with her wedding ring and leaned over to kiss her. With him, even the slightest touch of their lips had the power to create a great impact over her. Specially that very moment, when they held their newborns for the first time and her hormones took the most of her. 

Her eyes filled up with tears and she quickly looked back at the babies. _Happy_

Almost two years had passed by. They'd got married a few months after getting back together and Rachel insisted for it to happen on the same day as their old aniversary. Now, that day had a whole new meaning, only good things related to it. Their true vows, their first dance as husband and wife, the sight of Ben dancing with Melissa... _their_ first dance with Melissa. It was perfect. 

And some time after, Rachel found out she was pregnant with the twins. 

It'd been a long, painful labour. But nothing seemed to matter at this time. Looking back and forth at their beautiful faces, she knew everything was worth it. All the things that had leaded her to that very moment had been valid, important. All the pain, physical or not, was worth to be felt. Her eyes were wide open, sense of complete awareness now mixed with the good sensation that blinded her sometimes. It seemed controversial, but she was at the same time dreaming and living. She was... living a dream. This was her dream. And it was real. 

"What should we name them?" Ross asked softly. "We didn't exactly come to an agreement about that, did we?" 

Rachel smiled thinking of their little sweet tiffs about the matter and looked back down at her beautiful children. 

"This may sound a little innapropriated, but..." she looked up at him "I've been thinking... What if we named them Lara and Daniel?" Ross looked surprised. "I know, I said it may sound innapropriated, but..." she looked intently at the babies "I can't help but think how thankful we should be for all that's happened." their eyes met again. "Remember what I told you? I had to be free to find my way back to you. To realised what I _really_ wanted" 

"Likewise", he said sweetly. She chuckled. 

"Only we had to be with great people in order to really see that. And they were great..." her expression became casual "Hell, Geller, if I dumped _him_ to be with you, then you had to have something...!" 

He chuckled back. 

"Thanks", he replied sarcastically. 

"You know what I mean...! I knew you well, I knew all your flaws and our history was bumpy and all... And he was perfect to me. Well, almost. I chose you. Simply because he wasn't you. That's how much I love you... gel boy" 

Ross chuckled and kissed her hair, wrapping one arm around her. Having her being so honest to him, knowing she knew him so well made his insecurities fly away. It was not like this was a fairy tale. They had problems, they had flaws. And when you can see these things and still love the other person, possibly even more, then you know that this is it. They were real people, not at all close to being perfect. But understanding that and accepting themselves was the key to a sucessful relationship. 

And they'd achieved that acceptance, at last. 

"I love you too" he kissed her neck "probably more than you'll never know" 

Rachel closed her eyes and sighed, cherishing that moment. 

"Thank you for these amazing little guys..." 

She opened her eyes again and saw his eyes fixated on the infants. The little girl had opened her eyes, also. Hers were deep blue like her mother's. 

"Likewise", she said back, chuckling one more time, mocking him. 

There was a knock at the door and they looked at it as it opened. Monica was holding Melissa on her arms and Ben was also peeking from behind the half open door. Ross and Rachel smiled broadly. 

Melissa was three years old now. She had long hair and the same old puppie dark eyes. She looked at Ross and Rachel adoringly. 

"Come here sweetie, come meet your brother and sister", Rachel invited her. "You too Ben, come on. They're dying to meet you!" 

Monica put Melissa down and she and Ben approached the hospital bed Rachel was lying on. The other members of the gang entered after Rachel, carrying presents and cards. However, they gave them some distance. They just watched at first as Ross and Rachel's _family_ bonded. 

Rachel carefully moved her baby boy closer to her face, still pressed up comfortingly against her chest. She moved his tiny little pale blue hat just enough to see more of his forehead and kissed it lovingly. She motioned for Melissa to come closer and she did. Ross helped her up the bed and watched her wife and daughter, while holding his other baby girl and stroked his older son's hair. Melissa rested her chin on Rachel's arm and just watched her new brother for a long time. Rachel kissed her hair. 

"What do you think of your new brother?" 

"He's pretty", Melissa whispered. 

Rachel smiled at her and then looked at Ross. Their eyes said so much. More than words could ever try to express. 

Soon the little buns were being passed around. Monica took a good time holding them, proud to be an aunt once again. Rachel's eyes filled up with tears again when Melissa hugged her so carefully, visibly very much afraid to hurt her. She let the little girl hug her and wrapped her own arms around her, stroking her soft hair and watching her friends welcoming the babies into the world. 

"What are you gonna name them?" Monica asked. 

"Wait, it's not gonna be Baby Girl and Baby Boy? I thought that was so original!" (note from Tina: sorry, I had to write this! :D) 

Ross and Rachel looked at each other and chuckled. 

"Actually" Ross began "We've decided to name them Lara and Daniel" they all looked at him and he took Rachel's hand on his. "A little something to remind us of a phase that ended up being so important to us" 

"You guys amaze me", Monica stated as she watched them with true respect in her eyes. "Not many people would've overlooked the whole situation like you did" she handed the baby she was holding back to Rachel. "You so deserve this" 

Rachel simply smiled. The room was quiet for a while, untill baby Lara broke the silence with a loud wail, soon followed by her brother Daniel. 

Their mommy couldn't help but chuckle... Craddling Lara so sweetly while Ross handled Daniel, she promised her babies she'd always love them and do whatever it took to make things right. She knew she had what it took. She was strong, she was brave and she had structure. She had her man to rely on, great friends and amazing children. 

Life was... not at all close to being perfect. And yet again... it just was. 

Perfect. 

**The End**

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Aw, it's over :( I understand this chapter was very-_very_ corny and not really well written... but I kept being interrupted and all! Plus, I'm just never really good with endings...! : Still, I don't know, it's okay. That's my opinion, anyway. Wanna tell me yours? haha, then leave me a review!! :D I'm satisfied with the whole thing and I think it was _very_ good to me to take another shot at this. No pressure this time, just _pure_ entertainment. I love writing again!! :D Thanks for helping me out through this, I _needed_ it! I'll hopefully see you guys soon! 


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